oh yeah...this is what it feels like

it's a feeling that i could do without for the rest of my life. the feeling of not being able to run and hating every bit of it. you know...the feeling i'm having currently. mid-september my running flat lined due to total chaos happening in my life. all good stuff, but running as a priority went out the window.

i literally ran about thirty miles the entire month of october and 26.2 of them were at the st louis marathon Emily and i ran (SO proud of her!). since then i haven't ran at all...until earlier this week. i finally had the energy/motivation/desire to lace up my abandoned running shoes and get out the door. and. it. hurt. not in an injury kind of way, but in a "running sucks" kind of way. i lost almost all of my endurance i had built up and can no longer go out and run several miles. i ran two and i felt like i used to feel after running closer to five. embarrassing? a little. motivating? actually, yeah...kinda. is that weird? probably.

you know i'm huge into setting goals and then CRUSHING them into little tiny crushed-goal-pieces. well, this gives me the perfect opportunity to regain my endurance. since i can barely bust out a couple miles i have my work cut out for me, but it's actually a little refreshing to know that i have to work back up to running for an hour at a time or more. although it's a drag i can no longer just hop into a half-marathon any weekend i want it's exciting to have to work back up to that level.

also...after running this last marathon (and after my first triathlon earlier this year) i've realized that my passion for running has decreased slightly and my new found passion for triathlon has skyrocketed. i've mentioned before that i will complete a full Ironman before i die. well...i'm not quite foolish enough to say that next year it'll happen, but i really hope to start focusing more on triathlon in 2013 and set goals accordingly. we shall see......