optimism sucks

being an optimist is tough. let's be honest...being happy/positive is tough to do in a world that is so incredibly messed up. you ever notice that when you're in a good mood/having a good're an optimist? but let's say you've had a crappy day, nothing has gone right...all you want to do is slap an optimist in the face and scream, "be realistic!" right? oh..well for me that's how it is.

best example i can give: a typical sunday - i get to sleep in, i don't have to go the gym to lift, most sundays are an off day of running, so i basically get to be lazy. i wake up as late as possible, shower/get ready, listen to music, go to church, spend quality time with my wife and see some family. life is at an 11, so i'm an optimist. then comes monday...i'm still holding strong to my optimistic thought pattern and still feeling the "sunday high," but i start to have a few pessimistic thoughts and let the little things start to get me. and then on tuesday something happens at your workplace that sets you off and there it went. remember what it was like to be optimistic? me freakin' too.

so, my question is this: why is it SO hard to be an optimist, consistently? is it really because the world sucks? that seems like a cop out. is it really because our lives are so hard? doubt it. i know some people have it rough, so maybe that's legit. but could it be that it's just plain impossible to be optimistic everyday? maybe? does it really matter, tony? not really? why so many questions? i don't know. probably the same reason a kid on a bike came up to me at work today and fired of these brain busters, "what are you doing? why are you just sitting in your truck? what are those cones for? are you going to the pool today?"

ultimately, i just want to figure out how to be an optimist, all the time. i guess i'll still call myself an optimist...but there are plenty of days where i suck at it. does that make me a hypocrite? crap.