see tony run

hey, look...i'm a fish

2012-01-20T10:20:00.000-06:00

i've done some growing this week. i've really been challenging myself to become a swimmer. by that i mean i want to be able to beat michael phelps and his seventy-nine inch wingspan. although it's leading to frustration and swallowing gallons of pool water...i'm sticking to it and determined! i've actually been to the pool three times this week. THREE! oh, and i'll be going tomorrow morning for my swim lessons with the local triathlon club. who am i becoming? (a speedy swimmer is the correct answer there)

tomorrow is going to be a good day. i'm going to get a nice brick workout in before 10:00 or so and then have my first ever (thanks to my wife) one hour sports massage. honestly...i think that might hurt worse than my workouts. we'll see...

oh...and i have a confession. here's the real reason i want to get comfortable in water:

dude...i'm giving it a tri

2012-01-16T20:08:00.000-06:00

a couple saturday's ago i did something i sorta thought i'd never do. i got into a pool...and swam laps. i know to most people this is not a big deal, but to me it's pretty much awesomeness. i have a minor fear of water. mainly larger bodies of water where it's too deep to stand. this came about because i finally became a member of a local triathlon club. the cost only being twenty bucks a year was pretty much the selling point.
besides just sounding cool because i'm now a member of a "tri club" the twenty bucks gets me discounts to local shops, opportunities to group run with other members (and group bike rides), and even swim lessons from a swimming coach. yes, i am taking swim lessons. a few minutes in to being in the pool last weekend i literally thought, "man...i feel like a fish out of water here." then i thought, "wait a second...i mean, i feel like a human who doesn't like water in water?" (it was a lot funnier in my head...like a lot of things i am sure)

the good news: i actually really enjoyed swimming (and learning how) and my coach told me i'll have no problem getting it down as long as i focus on my breathing. it's true...i panic a little when it comes to learning how to breath properly while swimming. so, at this point in time i'm a guppie in the water but i'm waiting patiently for the day i'll be a shark in the water.

why? because some day i'm going to be an Ironman. for real. that's a life goal of mine. "it's on my bucket list" as some might say.

must have 3 of the following statements checked to become a triathlete:
X i am a runner
X i am a cyclist
i am a swimmer

the plan: become a swimmer and complete a sprint triathlon in july!

1 in 1,000?

2012-01-16T20:04:00.000-06:00

this post is a little late. sixteen days to be exact, i guess.

do y'all remember my goal last year being to run 1,000 miles in 2011? well...i achieved it and the crowds went wild...no, really...they did (don't worry...those empty seats filled up quick)!

emily's family and a couple friends threw a nice celebration ceremony for my achievement. i was even offered a gold medal, a gold shoe, and even a finisher's certificate to prove that i officially ran 1,000 miles in a year (oh, yeah...and flowers).

i was even inspired to give a speech and was sure to thank my mom and God.

to top off all of the loot i received for achieving my goal...i got a one hour sports massage to a local shop. my appointment is scheduled for this saturday (after a brick workout of course)!

this is why people achieve goals! TO GET STUFF!!

"so this is the new year...and i don't feel any different"

2012-01-01T09:16:00.000-06:00

who knows that death cab for cutie song, 'the new year'? (see the video below if you haven't) i have tried to make it a tradition to play that song every new year's eve for the past several years. why? because i feel like making "next year" a new year is all up to us. if i simply say "2012 is gonna rock and great things will happen," but i don't actually go and do anything...ummm nothing will happen. it seems like common sense, but then again...so does not walking in the middle of the parking lot at walmart yet people still do it.

so, this year, the year 2012 (pronounced twenty-twelve btw) why don't we all do the things in life that we want to do and stop making excuses. i'm not making any resolutions for 2012. in my opinion, resolutions have a negative connotation. maybe it's because for so many years i was making "new year's resolutions" that failed? it doesn't really matter. fortunately, i don't have the power to go back in time and change anything that's happened. yes, i meant to say fortunately. although i'm pretty sure i would go back in time and NOT break my pinky playing basketball that one day (thanks Carp...terrible shot...no hard feelings)!

goals are much better than resolutions. it's not that resolutions cannot be achieved and don't offer us the feeling of success, but i just think goals are smarter (why do you think they created S.M.A.R.T. goals). goals take motivation, determination, ambition, drive, will-power, and self-confidence (to name a few), and i feel like making a resolution just takes words. sure i could say, "my resolution is to be the best dancer in 2012" (done), and if i just say it but don't take the steps to do it...it's meaningless. doesn't it seem like people don't take new year's resolutions serious anyway? i mean...you see it every year: workout equipment and gym memberships are advertised EVERYWHERE and what happens by late january and february? well, if you're in the market for a good deal and a barely used treadmill just go to craig's list and find out for yourself. it takes making obtainable goals first. 'baby steps' for all you 'what about bob' fans out there. check this link out if you want to run a 5k in a month (trust me, it works!) it happens in the green industry, too. people say, "i'm totally going green in 2012!" for about two weeks they go green and realize it costs more and then don't bother finding ways to make it more affordable/manageable (here's an easy way to get started).

i'm ~~not intentionally~~ trying to slam resolutions. and maybe the words goal and resolution are synonymous with each other and i'm just typing circles here. either way...i think goals just sit better with me. i feel like i commit more to a goal and am more laid back when it comes to a resolution. honestly, if you make new year's resolutions every year and love doing it...by all means, keep doing it! good luck at keeping them, too! if you're more like me and have made plenty of resolutions but let them fizzle out by february...try making some goals. start small and work your way up to changing the world. seriously.

good luck and i wish you a happy, goal-crushing 2012!

the forty-four day challenge FINALE

2011-12-31T10:29:00.000-06:00

it's done, friends! it's in the bag! that's all she freakin' wrote. you want one biscuit i'll give you two. you'd think i was from the show me state...cause i showed you i could do it? that was awful! anyway...it's done and done. i officially ran 200 hundred miles in 44 days!! feels good. which brings me to my next point...
I RAN 1000 MILES IN 2011!!!!!!!!!!!

accomplishing goals is the BEST feeling ever! errvvverrr!!

now to come up with my list of goals for 2012.........any ideas!?!

happy birthday to my dad (again)

2011-12-21T10:47:00.000-06:00

well...it's happened again. my dad has gotten one year older today. good for him for being completely boss and awesome at doing things like rocking at life and not appearing to be one year older. trust me...i'm taking notes. by the way...in case you're wondering what to get a mid-fifty year old dude: a good book and a r/c helicopter is apparently the way to go.

call me unoriginal but i really liked my birthday post i did for him last year...so feel free to read that by clicking the link below:

happy birthday dad.

he wants to be a paperback writer

2011-12-12T20:05:00.000-06:00

before i even get into this post you gotta listen/watch this:

for years now i have wanted to write a book. it feels silly to admit. i have no idea why. out of all three people i have told this to, not one has said i can't do it or that it's a dumb idea. the only one who has said these things? me. i'm my worst critic.

i have a few ideas to write about, but no idea which one to start with. to be honest with you...i don't even know HOW to start. do i use my computer? do i use a pen and a notebook? do i find an old typewriter and head for the mountains? do i hire someone to write down my thoughts?

what do i do!?!

the longest blog post in the history of blog posts...and also my longest title to any of my blog posts ever.

2011-12-07T22:11:00.000-06:00

Sucky Scenario 1:

young kid: what do you do for a living?
me: oh, i'm a musician.
young kid: no way! are you on the radio?
me: no, but i have a cd.
young kid: no way! is it at wal-mart?
me: *long melodramatic sigh*

how long have i been saying i need to start playing more shows again? oh, right...a long time now. not to sound like a total conceited jerkface...but i'm just really tired of hearing music lately and thinking, "my music is way better...why am i not doing what i want with my music!?!" same reason you're not doing what you want to be doing (assuming you're like most people). it's freakin' difficult to do what you really want to do in life. why?

Sucky Scenario 2:

random person: what do you do for a living?
me: oh, i'm a manager at a lawncare company.
random person: that's cool. do you like it?
me: umm...yeah. it looks great on a resume. it's not ideally what i want to be doing though.
random person: well...what do you want to be doing?
me: *long melodramatic sigh*

how many times will i continue to set myself up for people to ask me what i want to do with my life? the only consistent answer i give when asked this question: "i don't really know yet...all i know is i want to help people out" (way to keep it super general, tony.)

here's the deal:
someone needs to tell me what to do with my life!

in all honesty and realness...i know i'm currently doing what God is calling me to do; however, i also know that He is calling me to do more. a lot more. that's all i got. that's the only little insight/direction He's hooking me up with so far. tricky, huh!? so, now combine that with a wife who is pretty much going through the same thing and what do you have...actually, probably a pretty typical Jesus-following married couple. sometimes it feels like i should just know everything i want to know. you know? i know. it's like this in my head: "hmmm....i don't know the answer to this question i'm asking myself...well...i think i should know the answer", so when i don't i get upset. am i completely insane or just partially?

i'm understanding (will never completely understand) how God works and it's hard sometimes to be okay with His process of doing things. ya know...'doing things' meaning: saving the WORLD! anyway...i'm good at letting myself get in the way and slow that process down sometimes. most often it's me demanding some sort of answer and/or direction in my life.

Sucky Scenario 3:

emily: we have way too much.
me: yeah, i know. we suck.
emily: seriously, we have way too much. why?
me: don't know. i want to give it all away and do more.
emily: well where's the balance? how can we live happy, but not feel like we have too much?
me: *long melodramatic sigh*

i'm going to be real honest here by letting you know a little something about me. ~~i'm sort of an emotional dude.~~ ~~i'm very connected with my inner-feelings.~~ ~~i cry and i'm proud of it.~~ i cry every now and then and a lot of times it's annoying. the other day i was reading an email that was forwarded on to me from someone from my Church. it included some pictures and updates on the recent devastation that happened in the Mitumba slums in Kenya. before then i was refusing to look at the pictures knowing how i'd take it. well...it was worse than expected. i had just sat down to eat my dinner before rushing out the door for whatever. first picture...bawling. tears were literally falling into my dinner. thoughts started racing through my head. "why would something like this happen?!" "why should this happen to them!?" "why did this not happen to me!?" and worse yet, "why do i feel so safe in saying that something like this won't happen to me!?" it made me sick.

typical american way of thinking: i have questions and i demand them to be answered now.

i really don't want to make this a classic 'life sucks, but..." post where i complain about life being hard and then wrap it up with a, "...but it's all good...i still have my health! winky face" it's just tough not having all of the big picture God is trying to show me. i know there's a big picture. i can see the frame and i can make out a few of the colors. other than that i just feel like a little kid standing in front of a candy store. no idea exactly where to look, but i know it all looks good and i want it all. now.

p.s. congratulations on reading (or skimming all the way to the bottom) through the entire post! you're now a record holder in my book for reading my longest post ever! i promise that my next post will be short and sweetly sweet!

p.p.s. seriously...thanks for reading.

the forty-four day challenge UPDATE

2011-12-06T16:33:00.001-06:00

wee-hoo...i'm almost half way done with the infamous self-declared 'forty-four day challenge' and i feel pretty good. i have officially logged 887 miles so far in 2011 with only 113 left to go between tomorrow (when i run yet another five miler) and december 31. my body is holding up well with the increase in miles. i was struggling to hit 20 in a week, so bumping it up closer to 30 was a bit of an increase. especially since they say to increase mileage "smart" it should be no more than 10% each week. my knees are just a little achy...mainly in a "dude...why are you doing this to us" sorta way, but other than that i feel grrrrrrrrrreeaatt!

so, if you're ever in the peoria area and want to go out and run a five miler with me...chances are i'm out somewhere so let me know and we can run together! seriously...my routes are getting boring.
click on the photo below (or else) and you can check out my training log. trust me...it's the most interesting/exciting thing you will ever see. ever.

welp...see ya later.

the forty-four day challenge

2011-11-29T16:55:00.000-06:00

i made this goal last year in 2010 to run 1,000 miles. i failed (it's cool, i'm okay with that. side note: not really). i had an injury that really set me back and to be honest...i just wasn't that great of a runner (am i now?). so as you can imagine it made my list of goals for 2011. about a week before thanksgiving i realized that i had logged exactly 800 miles with only 44 days left in 2011. i did the math (which i'm not that great at) and it came out to roughly 4.5 miles PER DAY until the New Year. my initial thoughts weren't the best/most optimistic. then i started thinking about it more and more. i started realizing that it might be a ~~fun~~ cool challenge to present myself. so...i took it on.

i "officially" started the "forty-four day challenge" (brilliant name, i know) on friday november 18th with 800 miles logged. i took a random poll on my facebook page to see what people would say/recommend and it was cool to see the responses i got. it seemed pretty split but of course my eyes were only worried about the ones that read, "GO FOR IT" or "YOU CAN DO IT" and that pretty much sealed the deal.

it's going to be great tomorrow when i can get a sweet thirty-one day countdown going. as of today i have 854 miles logged. i've been doing 5 milers most days to give myself a few days off between now and the New Year. i can't imagine how awesome the run will feel on New Year's Eve! i'm just praying i don't injure myself or have anything else happen that can keep me from hitting my goal.

i'll keep you posted because i am 100% surely positive you are going to want to know that i am running daily!

because no runner has heard, "run forrest run!" enough...here is my inspiration to run everyday:

and now what you've all been waiting for

2011-11-23T22:55:00.000-06:00

one time this was just an idea in the works. well, i'm proud to announce the official grand opening non-black friday release party for the official unofficial official best ever hottest super power couple's blog:

Tony and Emily: Making Moves

this blog includes my amazing wife Emily and her input on a lot of things. mainly...our lives and what we're doing. take a look and let us know what you think. basically, we'll be updating it occasionally with things that we're doing or something we're thinking about. i'm really excited for you (assuming that you'll want to read it along with this blog) because Emily is a bright young lass that has some cool things to say...most of the time. ;)

enjoy. or don't. whatever. seriously though enjoy it, please. do it. thanks.

messing with a vegetarian

2011-11-14T21:49:00.001-06:00

the title was inspired by my sister-in-law Cara. i think i'm going to write a book called Messing With a Vegetarian. if it exists already don't tell me you will crush my dreams. entirely. crush.

it may or may not include ripped off cartoons like these:

in all honesty though...i think it'd be super cool to write a book. i got a really really really complimentary comment on a previous blog post (probably from one of my old teacher's who wants me to succeed in life) and it really gave me a boost of motivation in my writing. clearly this post shows that motivation.

previous book ideas/titles i have had and could potentially (but probably not) write:

-Swimming With No Water (a book about having a fear of water and not knowing why)

-Batman vs. Me (a book about how we should all feel/act like super heroes)

-No, Paul...You Can Call Me Al (a book about my childhood - i think maybe my parents had a paul simon cassette i'd listen to a lot)

-Putting the 'I' in Music (a book about music snobs and how it's only cool if you admit it and are actually a cool person)

-Messing With a Vegetarian (maybe the only book I'd come close to writing at this point - an autobiography that would include more pictures/cartoons than words)

seriously serious

2011-11-10T20:46:00.000-06:00

i've been watching/listening to a lot of steven furtick sermons lately and i'm not gonna lie...they're really good. do me a favor here, okay? if you normally close out my blog now once you see i'm posting about something religious or whatever...don't! do me one favor and read on. cool? cool!

i'll be real honest here...i have been having a terrible week. now, when i say "terrible" i don't mean bad things are happening or anything. i mean things just stink! i've been making dumb choices that make life harder than it should be. i haven't been trusting that God really knows what He's talking about. i've been staying up too late. i haven't been praying enough or reading my Bible enough. basically...i haven't been doing a good job at being the Godly person i want to be. guess what? i'm human. this happens to me all the time. for some reason i'm reacting a little differently this week than normal. i'm putting more pressure on myself to be a "game-changer" (meaning: world changer) and i think that is what's making my week bad. so, my week being bad is basically because i'm not doing enough for the Kingdom. hmmm....so are my weeks every really good?

one good thing this week? scripture!! passages like Psalm 37:23-24 say, "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fail for the Lord holds them by the hand." scripture like this keeps me motivated even after a bad day where i completely suck! question: why do i not get into the Word more? answer: because i am a stubborn human who thinks he can do life himself...but can't! it's not like it's rocket science! i can't have a good day by myself! James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

my point: although scripture tells us that "every good and perfict gift is from above," we're not guaranteed a good life, ya know? while the good days i have (which are many) are gifts from God...it's a possibility that my life might not ever be good ever again! ultimately, i'm not guaranteed a "good" life. what am i guaranteed, you ask? nothing. my only goal in life is to glorify God. sounds simple, right? yeah...it does. easy? not really.

...and exhale

2011-10-29T21:43:00.000-05:00

i'm easily gratified. little things in life can make me smile and/or laugh. i think that's a good thing? when it comes to stressing out...well that's another thing i let myself do way too easy.

i've really been focusing on "de-stressing" lately after realizing that i'm way overstressed and it is was actually becoming noticeable in my day to day life. i'm not zen or chi, but i have been meditating. don't picture me with my index finger touching my thumb chanting, "hummmm......hummmm," cause that's ridiculous (in my opinion). it's more just about being somewhere comfortable and quiet and just "being" you. ya dig? another de-stresser i've been practicing lately (and has been really effective) is deep breathing. six seconds in, hold for four seconds, exhale for eight seconds. i do this four times and it's great...except the time i almost fainted (i tried exhaling too long). another odd practice (to me) that has been effective is guided imagery. you can do this along with deep breathing and make it a form of meditation. the basic goal of guided imagery is to focus on one thing/word and let your brain get lost focusing on this one thing/word. for me, i use the word 'peace' and it's worked great. yoga is awesome stuff, too. i'll admit it...i do yoga (it's to help my running!) some natural (and legal) herbs can really help, too. rhodiola rosea extract is good and is known to be mood enhancing. it helps maintain healthy cardiovascular function, can enhance memory and helps maintain healthy brain function. research also claims that it can be useful in improving work performance, improving sleep, appetite, reduce irritability, reduce occasional headaches and fatigue. umm....yes, please.

ok....there's plenty other things we can all do to de-stress, but what it comes down to is finding what works for you. one thing is for sure: stress in life is a given, but handling it properly can change your daily life.

peace.

the blues

2011-10-15T08:42:00.000-05:00

listening to the blues is something i love to do. it's interesting that majority of the songs are sad (wonder how they got the name 'blues') but somehow it makes me feel so good. it could be the guitar parts, the amazing vocals, or even the beat of the drums. for some reason...the blues make me feel great!

speaking of the blues...i've been in this crazy running slump for the past few weeks. it's been really hard to go out and run. i know what you're thinking, "well tony...running is hard." although i agree...running has always been something i love to do and have fun almost the whole time doing it (almost = key word). so, for the past few weeks it's been freaking brutal to lace up my shoes and head out the door. it started with my job getting way more stressful/busier last month, so it involved me working longer hours and a lot of saturdays. a lot of my volunteer projects were/are in full swing and that takes up evenings. it's getting darker earlier now so any free evening i do have it's too dark to run by the time i get home. some sunday mornings i can make it out unless we have meetings early at Church and then i don't have time. i also complain a lot and that takes up time when i could be running. hmmm....

this running slump is exactly like listening to the blues. while i listen to one of my favorite blues songs, wednesday evening blues by john lee hooker, i hear him sing about his woman leaving him and a foot tap in the background and i can easily compare it to my running slump. bare with me here...i'm tying this together any second now. step inside my mind for a minute (careful...it's crazy in here) and go for a run with me. if you listen to that song by john lee hooker it starts with a high note played several times and goes into a sweet blues lick. that'd be the time when i'm trying to force myself to lace up my shoes and head out the door. he sings the first line, "you know she left me one wednesday evening..." and now i'm out the door running and it hurts. you can hear his foot tapping in the background so slow and it feels like my feet are hitting the ground at the same time as his. slow. he uses a real basic and simple guitar lick throughout the song. running is real basic and simple. the pain in his voice is like my breathing...i just can't get into a good rhythm like normal. the song is coming to a close and i am approaching the end of my run. nothing has really changed...his woman still left him and i'm still running. the only difference at the end is he got his stress out by playing that blues song and i got it out by making it through my run.

the point i'm trying to make is this (finally): although the blues are mostly sad and right now running is hard for me...i have to keep in mind how the blues (and running) make me feel afterward (which is awesome, remember). i think it was dean karnazes that said, "i've never gone out for a run and felt worse when i finished." this has been the case for me 100% of the time i run. i'm not a genius when it comes to statistics, but i think there's a good chance that next time i go out for a run...i'm gonna feel great when i finish. now where are my running shoes...

forever & always

2011-09-29T05:43:00.000-05:00

today is emily's 26th birthday. at this point in time i don't think she'll be upset with me for making her age known. i mean, come on...she looks hot these days and i'm pretty confident in saying she always will.

emily and i have been married over four years now and it's been amazing. she's my best friend in the world and i literally want to be with her every second of my life. for all the readers who don't know, emily and i actually met in jr. high when our youth groups hung out. i actually remember the first time i asked my best friend at the time, kyle, who that pretty girl was. he said, "dude, that's emily. why do you like her?" and i did. we were able to hang out off and on a couple times back then in groups, but it wasn't until college years when we actually started dating seriously. so december 28th in 2004 i remember asking emily, "so...um...hey...ya wanna be my girlfriend?"

i remember times of talking on the phone with her for three hours and hanging up and it felt like three minutes.

i remember going to the mall when we were first dating and sitting on a bench to watch people and holding hands.

i remember going to play mini-golf and her kicking my butt...and i was actually trying!

i remember staying up so late before i'd have to make a long drive home watching ridiculous music videos on the television.

i remember our first kiss outside my sister's apartment and what she was wearing.

i remember our wedding day and seeing her in her wedding dress for the first time. yes, i cried.

i remember being upset with her after she fell on the ice right after i told her to be careful.

i remember proposing to her when we were carving pumpkins being SO nervous!

i remember cruising around town listening to music and taking random photo's of things.

i remember going to shows and walking in Chicago.

i remember yesterday when she randomly said, "tony...i love you. i love talking to you." and how it meant to much to me.

i remember today how much i love emily lynn gould and love growing old with her!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!

911 for love

2011-09-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

i remember most of the day. some parts are a little fuzzy...others i remember like they were yesterday. i remember sitting in my classes at school with a tv set to a news stations, watching and listening. it was silent all day as we all walked to our classes. in and out of rooms with a tv on various news stations. i got home from school that day and i remember going straight into the living room where the windows were open and the wind was blowing the curtains around. the weather that day was gorgeous. sunny blue skies in my personal world. i turned on cnn and cried. it breaks my heart to think about the people who were more personally impacted by all that happened that day. the people who lost family, friends, loved ones. to relive it year after year i am sure doesn't get any easier. i pray for everyone impacted in whatever way.

it's hard to talk about forgiveness in situations like what happened on september 11th ten years ago. i recently heard a sermon by james macdonald on the radio on forgiveness and it was really convicting. he referred to Ephesians 4 and how it talks about being kind and compassionate to others, and forgiving them just like God forgives us. in Proverbs it talks about how we're not to pay back someone for the wrong they have done to us and in Leviticus it says for us to forgive, do not hold grudges, and to love your neighbor as yourself. i remember being a kid and thinking that the term 'neighbor' was literal. "oh, all i have to do is love my neighbor as myself? that's easy...i love mr. and mrs. ringger...they're like my grandparents!" then i got older and learned...."oh, neighbor....like, everyone in the world? well that's harder..."

first and foremost, i do not want to sound like i'm taking sides with anyone ever (especially in a situation where people have lost loved ones). all i want is to share the conviction i have been feeling lately...and it is to forgive, even though forgiveness is hard. like, really hard! i'd like to say i could forgive anyone for anything. could i? i pray i can.

when emily and i lived down by st. louis we lived about ten miles from a church where the pastor was gunned down during a service. i remember about a week after that tragedy hearing the amazing story of forgiveness when the pastor's wife was talking about praying for the gunman and forgiving him. i saw on the news a couple months ago a lady who's son was shot and how she ended up helping the gunman get out of jail and now lives next door to her...and she is like a mom to him. these are a couple of stories that i can think of off the top of my head. of course there are a ton more like this.

the fact that these are people like you and me is encouraging, right? the fact that it takes normal people doing radical things to get my attention is sad. why can't loving others and forgiving others be normal? more importantly...it always comes back to love. love for everyone. loving everyone like you love yourself. treating others (everyone on the planet) like you treat yourself. what if the world looked like this? can you imagine? i can. i want it to be that way. all cheesy quotes and sayings about changing the world aside...it's not impossible to love other people!

the following is an excerpt from shane claiborne's book Irresistible Revolution. i found this book really interesting, his words are something i am still processing. you may also find it interesting...or it might anger you. either way...my intentions are not to upset anyone. i just want to share with you my conviction to forgive even when i am irreversibly wronged and my desire to love even though it seems hard.

"I saw a banner hanging next to city hall in downtown Philadelphia that read, "Kill them all, and let God sort them out." A bumper sticker read, "God will judge evildoers; we just have to get them to him." I saw a T-shirt on a soldier that said, "US Air Force... we don't die; we just go to hell to regroup." Others were less dramatic- red, white, and blue billboards saying, "God bless our troops." "God Bless America" became a marketing strategy. One store hung an ad in their window that said, "God bless America--$1 burgers." Patriotism was everywhere, including in our altars and church buildings. In the aftermath of September 11th, most Christian bookstores had a section with books on the event, calendars, devotionals, buttons, all decorated in the colors of America, draped in stars and stripes, and sprinkled with golden eagles.
This burst of nationalism reveals the deep longing we all have for community, a natural thirst for intimacy... September 11th shattered the self-sufficient, autonomous individual, and we saw a country of broken fragile people who longed for community- for people to cry with, be angry with, to suffer with. People did not want to be alone in their sorrow, rage, and fear.

...The tragedy of the church's reaction to September 11th is not that we rallied around the families in New York and D.C. but that our love simply reflected the borders and allegiances of the world. We mourned the deaths of each soldier, as we should, but we did not feel the same anger and pain for each Iraqi death, or for the folks abused in the Abu Ghraib prison incident. We got farther and farther from Jesus' vision, which extends beyond our rational love and the boundaries we have established. There is no doubt that we must mourn those lives on September 11th. We must mourn the lives of the soldiers. But with the same passion and outrage, we must mourn the lives of every Iraqi who is lost. They are just as precious, no more, no less. In our rebirth, every life lost in Iraq is just as tragic as a life lost in New York or D.C. And the lives of the thirty thousand children who die of starvation each day is like six September 11ths every single day, a silent tsunami that happens every week."

- Shane Claiborne Irresistible Revolution

fruit that is shaped like a star? yes, please!

2011-09-07T15:29:00.000-05:00

first off...i love stars. i know, i know...what an emo kid, right? maybe back in the day i'd admit to that, but now...not so much. i mean, my old AIM login was checkoutthestars. how much more emo can you get than that?

august's new food of the month was star fruit. they're really crazy looking with a not-so-crazy taste. don't get me wrong...i liked it. it just wasn't that tasty. i was hoping/expecting a much sweeter taste. they had good crunch and a lot of water content, but the taste was subpar.

star fruit:
-would i recommend it? yeah, why not?
-easy to prepare? sorta. rinse and cut, but then there are tiny seeds to pick out. probably not a must before eating, but to make it more pleasurable.
-availability? most grocery stores with a decent produce section will have these
-health benefits? it helps lower cholesterol, it's also known to cure headaches, hangovers, and apparently good for nursing mothers because it can help stimulate the flow of milk?

freedom ARTS project

2011-08-17T19:39:00.002-05:00

most people around the peoria area have hopefully had the chance to hear about the dream center. in a nutshell, this place has a huge impact on families in the surrounding area by doing awesome stuff for the youth. anything from athletic programs, setting up community service projects for kids, after school programs, donations to help kids out, and something they just started within the past couple of months called the freedom ARTS project.

this program is an awesome way to change the community by teaching youth lessons in the arts, and it takes place in a weekly class setting. i had the privilege of helping out by teaching guitar lessons this past summer, and it truly was an awesome experience. the program is getting ready to start it's second session in the next few weeks and i can't wait to teach another group of kids how to play guitar. although, it's hard to teach rookie guitarists how to play like jimi hendrix by the end of an 8-week course (A. because i can't even play like jimi, and B. because guitar is stinkin' hard to just pick up and play well). still it's so cool to be building relationships and having the opportunity to show Jesus' love through this program. in some cases we may never know what we mean to someone just by building a friendship with them. how cool is that? extremely! and sure it's tough not always knowing if you've had a huge affect on someone, but that's not what it's really about.

here's a cool idea. if you live in the peoria area (or you're up for a commute) and you play an instrument, paint, do photography, sing, write, make stuff out of clay, draw really well, record music, do videography, or if you're into anything else in the arts and you want to teach...you should sign up to help! why? because it's only one day a week for 8 weeks? nah. because they pay really well? no. because when we help others we help ourselves? nope, that's not it. hmmm...oh, that's right...because serving others is serving the Lord. now if that doesn't make you excited, i'll fall back on my "it's a scientific fact that helping people makes you physically feel better" card. and that, my friend, is a card that wins them all.

ready to give it a tri

2011-07-30T16:50:00.000-05:00

i think i'm ready? i am not ready. YET!

you know by now that i have this "baby step goal" program going on, right? it all started with a little weight loss and a 5k later the goals were in place. i'd start out by conquering a 5k race, then move onto a 10k race, then onto a half-marathon and then a full marathon and then...wherever my baby steps take me.

originally, my plan was/is to do a triathlon next. it's the next step! it's either that or an ultramarathon and i think i'd rather do that later in life. it'll be the next step after the triathlon. so for now my focus is completing my first triathlon. my brother-in-law, josh, is big into cycling and has recently started running and he's agreed to do a tri with me (sucker) so that definitely helps ease the nerves a little. not really, but that's what i'm going to say for now.

here's the deal: i'm freaking out! i do NOT like water. i don't mean "i don't like water" like some people say "i don't like vegetables." i'm saying "i don't like water" like most people would say "i don't like murder." the bright side/good news is that just last weekend emily and i went on a little getaway to michigan with our small group from Church and we all went to the beach a couple times and guess what? both times we were there i got in the water. we're talking lake freakin' michigan, people! i even got some tips/advice on how to float and swim properly from a couple of pro's. ;) combine that with my new found love for cycling and i'm on my way to training for a triathlon...baby steppin' style (i'm trademarking that phrase).

so like the cheesy/cliche title to this post states...i'm ready to give it a tri. (raises glass) here's to the training to come and the many days that i'll be asking myself what the crap i am doing and to the aches and pains but most importantly...here's to me going after another goal!

mmm...seaweed

2011-07-26T18:55:00.000-05:00

"nori seaweed rice crackers are like corn pops that have soaked in sea water..." that's what i said after eating a seaweed cracker for the first time. this new food of the month was something else. i guess the point of emily and i trying a new food every month is to make it something we've never had or might not ever try...but this one was weird. they are all natural though so that's good, right?

they're also cholesterol free, msg free, fat free, and even gluten free! they're also kinda taste free. i don't mean that in a completely bad way...it just seems like they were a little bland is all. 30 grams gets you 110 calories so it's pretty comparable to similar rice cakes and/or light chips. the sodium count is a bit high coming in at 280mg per serving, but the protein is a surprising 2g per serving.

seaweed crackers:-would i recommend it? i probably wouldn't pay more than a couple bucks for a bag
-easy to prepare? if you can snack on a bag of chips...you can easily prepare this
-availability? probably not at your local grocer. maybe somewhere like fresh market or an organic shop
-health benefits? fat free/cholesterol free food with a hint of protein

radical.

2011-07-09T16:32:00.000-05:00

radical as a noun is defined as this: "a person who holds or follows strong convictions or extreme principles; extremist."

welp, i want to be a radical dude...an extremist if you will. i want to be an extremist for love. now, before you shut me out and call me a hippy please hear me out...well, read me out? whatever. i'll be honest...i don't like the rolling stones or the song "american pie" and i am not a fan of the dallas cowboys, but i am still an american, right? more importantly...i'm a child of GOD! oh, did i mention we are ALL children of GOD? so, that doesn't really say much for me. i guess that's a good thing...because i am nothing. i don't want to come across as depressed or anything like that. i assure you i am a mostly happy person (is anyone truly one hundred percent happy) in the world we live in. i say i'm nothing because i am. honestly, everyone is nothing. there's not one person i know that is a true somebody...because there's only ONE of those, ya know?

are you picking up what i'm putting down? maybe i'm being a little vague here i guess. call me a coward or one who wants to encourage you to think. either way...i'm calling you out (including myself).

we are called to do things. i'm not talking chores when you were a kid or lame stuff your boss is ~~demanding~~ requesting at work. i'm talking "Things" in quotes with a capital 'T' and maybe even bold and underlined and in a larger font! i honestly wish it were as simple as "dude, i'm just gonna love everyone like a brother or sister and be really "nice" to everyone in between and i'll "make it"..." but it DOES NOT work that way. sorry, chuck...but it doesn't (if your name is chuck this is not directed at you...i don't know anyone named chuck).

i'm just tired of reading books and listening to people speak about what we gotta do, ya know!? am i the only one who gets tired of hearing what you SHOULD be doing, or what you COULD be doing better!? i doubt it! so let's step up and start changing the way we live! guess what it'll do...besides change the world? i'll give you one other guess...it'll change your life! seriously...who is ready for a ~~little~~ change!!?!? count me in, friend!

"i'm not slow, i'm just enjoying the course"

2011-06-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

listen up, friends...a super cool thing is coming up and you ALL will be interested in one way or another. on july thirtieth of this year there will be a 5k race at tipton park in bloomington, il and you are personally invited! it only costs twenty bucks (kid and family discounts available) and you get a sweet shirt to wear for years and years. ready for the cool-cool news?!

all the proceeds are going to Dorie's Promise, which is an orphanage in Guatemala. more specifically, the money raised will build a playground for the kids at the orphanage. i don't know about you, but that pumps me up! i just picture all of the kids seeing the playground for the first time and just going crazy!

i'm going to challenge all of you to participate. yes, all of you. in fact i'm going to break it down so that it will apply to each and every person reading this (obviously impossible, but i will try anyway...you know, like what a politician does).

"newbie, but stoked to run" runner: if you're this person chances are you've thought about running a 5k before, but never pulled the trigger. you run on occasion either outside or inside, but normally hold steady to about a mile or two at a time.

"been there done that, but will do it again and again" runner: you've run a 5k. in fact, you probably ran one last weekend and have already lost your free shirt. you're down for whatevs, man.

"no freakin' way" runner: (my favorite type of person) you don't run unless being chased, right? when i talk about running you shake your head and think i'm crazy. right now as you read this you are saying, "i am not running this 5k no matter what he says." well, that's fine...you can volunteer then. we need the extra hands! just let me know! BUT, if you want to step out on a limb and do something crazy that you'll never forget...sign up to run!!

"this is part of my marathon training" runner: this person is a Runner...yeah dude, capital 'R' kinda runner. hardcore. black toenails. thirty pairs of running shoes. talk about splits in their sleep, fartleks, what kind of food they're using for fuel, and probably how they qualified for boston once or twice. who cares (i do kinda, and it's cool if this is you), but sign up and rock the 5k! oh, and bring a few of those extra running shoes with you to the race..the 5k for Orphans has partnered with soles 4 souls to collect shoes for those in need.

"i'm going to win, because i race" runner: ok...bring it on! and don't even brag about your two percent body fat and five minute miles.

"aw crap you got me" runner: if this is you...you can do it! basically what has happened is you were probably hanging out minding your own business not running and someone came up and asked you to run in the 5k for Orphans. you froze because you heard the word orphans and felt bad so immediately said yes without even knowing what you were saying yes to. (haha, you know who you are). good luck!

dang, i didn't realize how many types there were going to be. oh, i almost forgot my fail-safe type of person...the "can i just walk and still show my support" walker. and the answer is yes! we'll be having a one mile walk, too! so anyway, by now you get what i'm saying. anyone and everyone can do this. you will see every type of person there and that's what makes it great! if you're on the fence...allow me to gently push you to the side where you will find yourself helping orphans and raising awareness for the orphan crisis we have in this world. with almost 150 million orphans worldwide...i think forking over twenty bucks, sweating for less than an hour and possibly embarrassing yourself is worth it, right? i even have an awesome site you can go to start training for a 5k that literally starts from the couch! trust me folks...this works...it helped me get started running. although you don't really have the nine weeks it suggests you take to train...you can at least start it and walk/run the race!

see you on race day!! (i'll be at the finish line cheering you on...and not because i beat you, but because that's where i'm helping).

so...what kind of runner are you?

trail running

2011-06-10T19:37:00.008-05:00

yes, ugli fruit is ugly

2011-06-02T21:19:00.000-05:00

i'm a little late posting about the new food of the month for may, but hey...better late than never? i don't think i like that saying. oh well.

this month (may) emily and i tried ugli fruit. yes, it is spelled hipply with an 'i' and not a 'y' at the end. and yes, i might have just invented the word 'hipply' which means to do something while trying to act hip and cool. back on track...ugli fruit is unbelievably ugly. we weren't really sure what our new food was going to be until we were walking through the store and came across it. we didn't even know how to pick one. they all looked old and moldy and gross and disgusting and nasty and run on sentence like. after at least three minutes we were finally able to pick the best looking ugli fruit they had. friends, don't worry, they put a sticker it that screams 'ugli' so you won't confuse it with your grapefruit at home.

the texture of this thing was a little weird to say the least. it was soft and squishy (think old, moldy orange) and even had weird dark spots here and there. emily did a little research (google) and figured out the best way to prepare it. she went with the old school cut it in half and eat it approach...which i feel was the best decision. it looked a lot like a grapefruit combined with an orange, but with a thicker rind. seriously...the rind was almost a half inch thick. i was a little let down by the taste of the ugli fruit. i was expecting it to be packed with flavor, but it was basically like eating an orange and grapefruit at the same time. yeah, lame! don't get me wrong, it was good...just not awesome.

ugli fruit:

-would i recommend it? sure...for ugli people (see what i did there?)

-easy to prepare? umm...yes. eat it like an orange.

-availability? we found it at hyvee (which is just fun to say)

-health benefits? it's fruit, dude. tons of vitamin c.

the big picture

2011-05-30T09:31:00.002-05:00

making moves. it's something that i've been saying for a while now. i think i originally heard it in a song by the rocket summer, but i~~'ve~~ ~~taken~~ stole it and made it my own (that's how art works, folks). i've been making a lot of moves within the past year or so. oh, i guess i should clarify...'making moves' meaning changing something in your life. speaking of making moves...i was able to sleep in (7:30am) today and it was amazing. i ate some cereal (three freakin' bowls), watched some informational television educating us on the difference between monkeys and apes. did you know male monkeys can't see the color red? so, here i sit blogging away with american football playing lightly in the background so my gorgeous wife can continue to rest before we go get lost in the woods trail running.

you ever wonder what the big picture looks like? i do...all of the time. as big as it is though, i lose sight of it all too quickly. it's probably more that i am distracted and looking the other way really. i'll admit it...i am a selfish human that cares about what i'm going through way too much. i turn twenty-six today and i'm having the exact same feelings that i did when i turned twenty-five..."what have i done?" i'm not talking about college degrees, careers, getting married, reaching goals, vacations or anything like that. i'm talking stuff that's helping. what have i done that's helped make a difference? so take a look at the big picture with me. from far away it looks great and has amazing detail with colors you've never seen. as we bring it closer we start seeing the poverty, crime, murder, homelessness, pollution, war, racism, sexism and all other hatred/bad things you can think of. the good: tons of ordinary people are making moves to get rid of things like those listed above. the bad: not enough people are stepping up willing to make those moves. some of us are being lazy and not pulling our weight. so now that i'm a wise twenty-six year old i'm stepping up my game. i'm gonna make freakin' moves like a u-haul (pretty sure i'm making that into a t-shirt). we need to take our blinders off and look more closely at the big picture and pick a spot that needs help (everywhere) and focus on it. we're all artists and we can touch up any part of the big picture as long as we try (wow...i knew that was bad while even writing it). if we don't do anything then guess what happens...you guessed it!

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-Mother Teresa

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
-Anne Frank

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
-William James

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
-Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.
-Leo Rosten

Live simply that others might simply live.
-Elizabeth Ann Seton

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.
-Mother Teresa

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
-Dr. Seuss

It seems to me that any full grown, mature adult would have a desire to be responsible, to help where he can in a world that needs so very much, that threatens us so very much.
-Norman Lear

Being good is commendable, but only when it is combined with doing good is it useful.
-Author Unknown

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.
-Mother Teresa (Agnes Gonxha Bojarhiu)

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
-Edward Everett Hale

The willingness to share does not make one charitable; it makes one free.
-Robert Brault

It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can.
-Sydney Smith

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.
-Edmund Burke

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-Mother Teresa

Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you.
-Mother Teresa

Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him.
-Albert Schweitzer

He who gives when he is asked has waited too long.
-Sunshine Magazine

This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
-George Bernard Shaw

Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.
-Author Unknown

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
-Nelson Henderson

While earning your daily bread, be sure you share a slice with those less fortunate.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist.
-Laurence Leamer, King of the Night

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a boy.
-Knights of Pythagoras

Charity sees the need, not the cause.
-German Proverb

In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy.
-Karl Reiland

How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
-William Shakespeare

If we could all hear one another's prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burdens.
-Ashleigh Brilliant

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.
-Norman B. Rice

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.
-William Penn

Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee, and do not try to make the universe a blind alley.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own.
-Benjamin Disraeli

here's some news for ya's

2011-05-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

a lot of what i blog about (100% so far) is from my perspective. it's from the life of tony gould. well, a major part of tony gould is emily gould (she literally is the better half). ok, now that i'm done speaking in the third person we'll move on. i've tried to get emily to blog on here about cool things we've done together but she's too chicken. ok, that's not entirely true. so here's what we're gonna do (said like a high school coach with a new trick play) we're going to create a new blog that we can both blog on. now, i know what you're thinking. "another blog? really?" the answer is yes and if you don't like it then don't read it (smiley winky face). oh, and don't worry...in case you like me more than emily you'll still have this blog to read. the 'emily and tony' blog will be up shortly and i'll let all you anxious readers know when it's live.

1. good idea?____
2. bad idea?_____
3. does anyone care?_____

answer sheet:
yes = 1
no = 0
must get 2/3 to be considered awesome
question 2 does not count.

i'm reading a new book and this was in it...

2011-05-21T07:52:00.000-05:00

"Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them says he has a question for God. He wants to ask why God allows all of this poverty and war and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says, "Well, why don't you ask?" The fellow shakes his head and says he is scared. When his friend asks why, he mutters, "I'm scared God will ask me the same question."
-The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne

most of you have heard that today is the rapture. well friends...sorry to say it isn't. i just want to point out Matthew 24 to some folks. in verse 36 it says, "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." of all the "debatable" topics in the Bible...i am pretty sure this isn't one. of course, that's just my opinion.

what has all of the hype done for me? it's reiterated the urgency we (Christ followers) have to show God's love to this world. everyone. the entire world. every human in it. 100% of all mankind. no one left out. no one not good enough.

we are the body.
we are the hands.
we are the feet.
we are the church.

The Great Commission

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
-Matthew 28:16-20

first marathon down...zero week is almost over...now what?

2011-05-08T09:34:00.000-05:00

i'm sure you're all wondering how the week after (zero week) the marathon has been for me. to be honest with you...it wasn't as bad as i heard it could be. i did notice the slight disappointment of being done with training and working towards the goal of completing a marathon. also my immune system crashed and i got a nice two day cold, but other than that...i think i'm okay. as far as physical pain goes...sunday through tuesday was pretty rough, but by wednesday i was finally walking normal (and not freaking emily out by walking downstairs backward).

i didn't run until yesterday when i went out for an easy three. of course that easy three turned in to trying to run it faster than i ever have. funny how that worked. it was nice though to go out just to get back into the swing of things. i realized today that i really need to figure out how to get back into the gym (meaning: find the time). i got out of the habit half-way through my training and i think it really had an affect on my marathon results.

...but who cares about all that crap, right? so, i ask myself, "well...what's next, man?!" i answer, "anything i freakin' want!" i'm not gonna lie...originally i wanted to set out for a triathlon, but my fear of water might delay that a bit. i also don't have a bike, so for now i'll use that as my excuse. i do also see a fifty-miler in my future...somewhere down the road. for now though, i'm thinking i'm going to get into trail running and maybe going to work toward another full-marathon. maybe fall of this year? maybe chicago? maybe indy? maybe stl? maybe a different country? what?

i thought it'd be fun to do just a little recap of some memorable quotes from race weekend with emily...

emily (sarcastically): "i think that race could've used more cowbell."

emily: "you're walking funny."
tony: "whatever...it's my swagger."

tony (from the top of the stairs): "hey, walk downstairs backward...it doesn't hurt at all!"
emily: "no way, you look like a zombie or something."

emily: "hey, let's go on a walk this week, just because we can!"

sign at race: "gas is $4.13/gallon...keep running...it's cheaper!"

sign at race: "if it was easy i'd be doing it"

drunk frat boy at mile one: "KEEP GOING...YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!!"

tony: "i literally ran the distance between the college hills starbucks in bloomington to my parents in gridley!"
"emily, you ran from lake bloomington to gridley!"
"there's something wrong with both of those statements."

there are many more i could share...but i think you get the general theme here! it was a long, tiring weekend...but we did it and it was awesome!

marathon training (week eighteen) race week!

2011-05-01T06:53:00.000-05:00

IT'S DONE!!

...and i made it. after eighteen weeks of successful training with just very minor injuries and aches and pains and what was the result? i went and ran 26.2 miles yesterday and now i can't walk normal. i have to walk downstairs backward. if i squat there's a high likelihood that i will not be getting back up. last night my muscles were spasming, so that was freaky to watch. oh, and sometimes when i'm randomly sitting trying to enjoy dinner...i'll get a leg cramp that stands me straight up in .2 seconds. other than that though...i'm doing AWESOME!

the race started great. it was 51, overcast, and the wind was a little gusty. by mile 5 i realized i was doing what i had just done times 5, so i started to think things over. once i came up on miles 8-9 is when the first place half-marathoner passed us (not defeating at all!) btw...awesome job goes out to Emily for crushing her first half-marathon time by almost ten minutes!! she ran the half in 02:19:45! (and no one knows this...but she was struggling with some knee pain for the past couple weeks in her training...she's a machine!)

onto the half-way point...sucked. the realization that i had to do everything i had just done started to sink in. at mile 14 or 15 (memory is a little fuzzy at this point) i had to take a pee break. i'll admit it was a bit awkward hopping into a portapotty and swaying all around trying to go to the bathroom. at mile 16 or 17 i had officially hit the wall. most of you probably know what this is. it's when you say to yourself, "you. are. insane. why are you doing this to yourself? you'll never ever finish and your body is not going to work right ever again! stop running!!"

i was using GU (gel packs) to refuel throughout the race since i trained with them, but i had never had the chocolate flavor. right around mile 18 (i think) i grabbed a chocolate flavor GU from a volunteer by mistake but really needed it so i took it anyway. a half mile later at the next water stop i took water and a little gatorade...it didn't mix well in my stomach. i got a little nauseous and didn't take on any calories the rest of the race. so, the combination of hitting the wall and no fuel for the last 6.2 miles made it a little difficult. i ended up walking through water stops to finish out the race with a finish time of 04:46:52. a little longer than what i had hoped for...but honestly, i ran 26.2 miles so i'm not being too hard on myself. oh, and it was pretty awesome to be negative calories until 7:00 yesterday, too.

thanks to everyone who's been following my training, leaving me comments of encouragement, and letting me know that i can do anything i put my mind to. trust me...those were some of the things that helped me cross the finish line.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: running a full marathon is freakin' hard...but possible. now go try it for yourself!

week eighteen numbers:

starting weight: 184

monday - rest
tuesday - 4 miles / 34:13 (8:34)
wednesday - rest
thursday - 3 miles / 27:30 (9:10)
friday - rest
saturday - 26.2 / 04:46:52 (10:57)
sunday - just a little rest

total mileage for the week: 33.2 miles

ending weight: 182

total weight loss/gain: -2

how do you pronounce this?

2011-04-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

this month we wanted to find something a little out there. well...i think we managed to do just that (at least i thought so). walking by this particular food we saw a sign that read "jicama" and immediately we had to start trying to pronounce it. after emily and i both realized we both knew it should be our next new food we try. come to find out it's also known as a Mexican turnip (a little useless fact for ya).

the inside of it is white almost like a potato. speaking of potatoes...the texture of this thing is a lot like a potato combined with a pear (at least when it's uncooked). i think i definitely want to try this again, but maybe cooked in something or for dipping in a hummus maybe?

want to know something cool about jicama? (why yes tony...we do of course) we eat the root like you see in the picture below, but the rest of the plant is actually very poisonous. seriously...who was the lucky one that figured that out?

jicama:

-would i recommend it? yeah i think so. it'd probably work best cutting into wedges for dips or throwing it in a salad.

-easy to prepare? cut it up. we ate it raw, but you can cook it.

-availability? we found it at hyvee (we've seen them at wal-mart)

-health benefits? low in calories and an excellent source of fiber (six grams per cup!), potassium, iron, calcium, and vitamins C and E

marathon training (week seventeen)

2011-04-24T20:42:00.001-05:00

remember when i was training for that marathon and was a week away and freaking out? me too.

let the countdown begin friends. five days to go...

btw...i just want to go on record and say that i am super duper proud of emily lynn gould for training for her second half-marathon and everyone should wish her awesome-good luck!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: there is always a bigger issue in this world for me to worry about than some small little problem i am having. too many times (way too many times) i stress over something or freak out about something in my life and i completely forget about everyone else in this world. trust me...it can probably be a lot worse! i realized this on a run...

week seventeen numbers:

starting weight: 183

monday - rest
tuesday - rest
wednesday - 4 miles / 33:59 (8:30)
thursday - 3 miles / 25:44 (8:35)
friday - rest
saturday - rest
sunday - 6 miles / 55:00 (9:10)

total mileage for the week: 13 miles

ending weight: 184

total weight loss/gain: +1

"running is one of those things that can go straight to your head...and it gets there quick."
-tony freaking robert gould

marathon training (week sixteen)

2011-04-17T07:36:00.000-05:00

there isn't really much to report this week for my training. i taper this week and next, so it should be a nice couple of weeks. honestly, according to my training plan, i tapered a little too much this week but next week i hope to stay on track. i actually had a little funny feeling in my right knee mid-week, so i decided to play it safe and just take it easy. so i did.

i got to run a three miler with emily earlier this week and i got to go out this morning (Sunday) and run a nice four miler with my dad so that's always fun. i think next week to top off my training my dad and i are going out to lake bloomington and running the outer loop (seven and a half miles i think).

can you believe that when i blog next week i'll be ONE WEEK OUT from the marathon!?! i'm freakin' out, maaan!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: tapering is the best part of training for a marathon.

week sixteen numbers:

starting weight: 183

monday - rest
tuesday - 3 miles / 22:02 (7:21)
wednesday - rest
thursday - 3 miles / 28:06 (9:22)
friday - rest
saturday - rest
sunday - 4 miles / 34:25 (8:37)

total mileage for the week: 10 miles

ending weight: 183

total weight loss/gain: 0

a helping hand

2011-04-16T14:12:00.000-05:00

i am determined to help every single person i can in this world. that pretty much sums it up. some might say it's impossible. some might cheer me on. others might even choose to help out with this life goal. ultimately, it's something i am determined to do and you know what they say about me when i'm determined to do something, right? i'm gonna freakin' do it!

here's what i need from you guys. spread the word that i'm out looking for ways to help people. nothing is too small and nothing is too big. if you know someone who needs some help with something let them know to contact me. if you think they won't contact me then get me their contact information and i will hunt them down. i know this sounds cheesy, but i really think this will be a cool deal.

i know my blog does haven't a ton of readers (probably not even twenty), but i know what it takes to get a message out. if each of you awesome people post this blog post on your facebook wall or tweet it or spread it one way or another...it's bound to find the eyes of someone who either needs some help or reach someone who knows of someone in need of some help.

besides the "anyway possible" answer to the question "how will i help" i figured i'd try to make a quick list of ways i could help you or someone you may know.
-moving
-cleaning
-cutting down trees
-picking out a new car
-yard work
-painting
-honest criticism
-cooking
-answering questions about
    -running
    -health
    -life (cause i got it figured out of course)
-prayer
-singing a duet
-dog sitting
-taking out the garbage
-fixing a flat tire
-finishing a bottle of wine so you don't drink too much
-giving you a ride somewhere
-writing a song
-going to the movies so you don't have to go solo

as you can see...i can be quite helpful. there is no limit to what i will do to help someone. did that come out wrong? hope not. you get what i'm saying, right? i'm just looking for ways to help people out and i figured this was/is a great first place to start. i'm kinda pondering (can you 'kinda ponder'?) the idea of posting an ad on craig's list or ebay explaining what i want to do. i can see it now..."twenty five year old dude who loves Jesus and loves you wants to help you with _________________________! and he's not crazy." the only thing that's actually holding me back from doing that is the fact that i could get murdered by some wackadoo out there (no offense if you are a wackadoo).

is this lame? maybe.
is this pointless? nope.
is this possible? i think so.
is this worth a shot? yes!

email me or have people email me here: betterluckthistime@hotmail.com and i'll do everything i can to help out!!

marathon training (week fifteen)

2011-04-10T07:30:00.002-05:00

ever since decided i wanted to complete a full marathon i knew it was going to be tough. it's one of those things that you can't really prepare for. i mean, of course i'm training and all, but i'm talking about full on pre-to-the-pare. i've read a few articles about 'week fifteen' and how it can make or break you. there are all sorts of horror stories. at the time...it got me fired up. now, in week fifteen...i'm crazy nervous.

my weekday runs went okay this week. i started strong, but ended feeling pretty fatigued on thursday after my four miler. on thursday, it was nice getting a run in early in the morning before work. that's always a great way to start a day.

one awesome run this week was my three miler on tuesday with emily. since it was one day without shoes we of course wanted to run barefoot...so we did. we ran part of our four mile loop then broke off around the two mile mark to head onto the golf course where we kicked off our shoes and socks. it was only my second time running barefoot and emily's first. it was a total blast to run with her all over the course barefoot like a couple of little kids laughing the entire time.

...and then came the twenty miler. twenty miles! just say it out loud with me, "twenty miles!" one more time and let's yell it, "TWENTY MILES!!" anyway, the weather was perfect; mid-sixties and hardly any wind. it did get warm toward the end when the sun came out full force, but it didn't really matter because i couldn't feel anything at that point. unfortunately, i didn't even think i would need sunscreen, and as a result i got a wicked sunburn. so we're all on the same page here, it's not the type of sunburn where the next day people are like, "dang tony...you got some nice color!" it's more like, "tony...what the crap were you doing yesterday that gave you such awkward sunburn lines?" you can literally tell that i had my arms up in a running position for over three hours and just happen to be wearing taller ankle socks. whatever though...when i was finally done (it took me about twenty minutes longer than i was hoping for) i could barely walk. i've never felt anything like it, folks. it was gnarly to say the least.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: the infamous week fifteen during marathon training does suck!

week fifteen numbers:

starting weight: 184

monday - 4 miles / 32:52 (8:13)
tuesday - 3 miles / 28:04 (9:22)
wednesday - rest
thursday - 4 miles / 35:55 (8:59)
friday - rest
saturday - 20 miles / 03:24:09 (10:13)
sunday - rest

total mileage for the week: 31 miles

ending weight: 183

total weight loss/gain: -1

one day without shoes

2011-04-05T20:09:00.000-05:00

if you weren't aware, today is ONE DAY WITHOUT SHOES that TOMS promotes. it's pretty much one of the coolest things ever. if you don't have the time to check out the link above i'll fill you in a little on what exactly it means to go a day without shoes. for some...it's every day life. for others (probably like you and me) it's for comfort. i have the luxury of coming home from a hard day's work and kicking off my shoes and socks...to relax. meanwhile, there are people who go to work barefoot, work hard in rocky terrain, and then go home without shoes. it's simple, but hopefully extremely effective. TOMS set out to simply make people aware.

unfortunately, emily and i both work in jobs where going barefoot was not an option today. how did you go one day without shoes then? we ran barefoot, duh!

although some of you might have missed the chance to go a full day without shoes, do yourself a favor and kick off your shoes and socks and walk around outside for a while. all i thought about while running barefoot today was why change happens in the first place. it's people doing things like this and this just to promote a day when we all go barefoot.

here's a couple of cool ways you can learn how to help with providing people with something for their feet!

-Here you can learn how to donate old running shoes

-Here you can buy one pair of shoes and they'll give one pair of shoes

-Here you can donate ONE DOLLAR and provide someone in need with shoes

it's one thing to bring awareness to a situation...but it's so much more to actually do something to make a change in that situation!

marathon training (week fourteen)

2011-04-03T09:26:00.000-05:00

it was a decent week this week. i put a lot of pressure on myself to get all of my runs in and i'm happy with the way this week turned out. obviously, i didn't get the long run in that i wanted to (fourteen miler) but the ~seven i did this morning was phenomenal!

first off...the wind today is brutal! thirty mph winds with over forty mph gusts from the SSE is not a good wind to have when you do most of your running in the open/flat/boring country of illinois. the beginning of my route was great since i was running north. i sorta felt like i was running on the moon. the wind was actually pushing me, so it felt like i was barely doing anything. then i turned and headed east...bad. then i turned and headed south...impossible to breath! i realized i wasn't going to pull off fourteen without feeling miserable, so i broke off from my route and turned in toward town. i came up on a new golf course and all of a sudden i was off-roading it and heading toward the cart paths. it was a great feeling to not worry about my training, or that i wasn't going to be getting fourteen in this morning. i felt free. i felt happy. i felt like i was running just because i loved it. what made it even more awesome was what happened next. (and i'm not going to tell you...just kidding read on to the next paragraph!)

i got up toward the clubhouse and the next thing i knew i was kicking off my shoes and socks. at this point i had only ran about four miles, but once i was barefoot and started running on the course i felt like i had never run before. it felt so awesome and free and every other cliche word i can think of to say that running is some awesome natural relationship between the runner and the earth.

bottom line: i'm hooked. i know i probably went a little too far barefoot, but come on...when you're feeling it you're feeling it. once the marathon is done and out of the way (26 days 21 hours 37 minutes 30 seconds) i'm definitely doing more barefoot running!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: barefoot running is awesome!

week fourteen numbers:

starting weight: 188

monday - rest
tuesday - 5 miles / 42:21 (8:29)
wednesday - 4 miles / 34:07 (8:32)
thursday - rest
friday - 9 miles / 01:20:42 (8:58)
saturday - rest
sunday - 7 miles / 01:00:47 (8:41)

total mileage for the week: 25 miles

ending weight: 184

total weight loss/gain: -4

free april

2011-04-02T12:48:00.000-05:00

emily had an AWESOME idea for the month of april. first off...let me tell you all a little bit about my wife, emily. she's great at thinking of awesome ideas. as much as dudes might want to get inside the brain of a woman....after being married to emily almost four years....i do not. don't get me wrong....i'm sure her brain is very awesome, but all of the thinking she does...whew! you know what they say about people who think all of the time, right? they freakin' rock! it's true though....it's those kinds of people who are changing this world! and i'm convinced she will...

so anyway let's get back on track. emily's idea was that during the entire month of april...we pay for nothing! now, i know you're thinking that that is impossible. well it is. we're still going to have to buy things like food, gas, and pay a couple bills here and there...but we're not going to spend money on anything else. we're talking mostly our "fun/entertainment/stay sane/probably shouldn't have bought that" category of spending here.

at first i was a little hesitant. Q: why? A: because i like to go out to eat on the weekends. i like to go buy a pair of pants if i want. i like to swing into the gas station after i fuel up and get a thirty-two ounce diet coke for seventy-five cents! you know...things like that are very very very important to me. luckily sarcasm is free, right?

that's it. we're going to find nothing but FREE things to do for fun. she already has a list going which includes things like going to see a movie at nine o'clock on a saturday morning where it will mostly consist of families with young children...and us. one night we might be able to go to a possibly sketchy winery for a free wine tasting (i'll let you know). just yesterday she went to the store to get me almondmilk (which i needed) and she somehow made it out of there with a free bag of sunchips. this is my wife...she is brilliant!

throughout this month i'll be posting about all of the free awesomeness we decide to venture into so get ready! also...if you have any suggestions of some free fun things to do in the peoria/bloomington-normal area please feel free to shoot them my way.

i know the drawing is ~~terrible~~ terribly awesome, but this is what i first though of when she told me about the 'free apil' idea. see what goes on in my head? she has all of these awesome ideas and this is what i took from it..."we HAVE to set april free!!"

chill it, don't spill it

2011-03-30T19:44:00.001-05:00

coconut water was the new food/drink of the month for march. to be honest...i wasn't too excited at first. i didn't know what to expect, so i was caught assuming it'd be bad. i pictured it to be dirtier than what it was, and taste really bitter.

it was actually quite the opposite. it wasn't clear like water, but pretty darn close. it sorta looked like salt water? i should have known it'd be good by the words "chill it, don't spill it" on the jug. it turned out to be really sweet and it actually reminded me of coconut milk or almond milk...but not as thick.

coconut water:

-would i recommend it? yes, and i'm actually going to try it as an alternative to sports drinks when running

-easy to prepare? shake it, open it, chug it
-availability? we found it at fresh market
-health benefits? low calorie, sweet, natural, high potassium, and here's a fun fact: one cup of coconut water actually has more electrolytes than most sports drinks

marathon training (week thirteen)

2011-03-28T18:21:00.001-05:00

with almost thirty days left until the marathon i really thought my training would be a lot different than how it's been going the past few weeks. to be completely honest...it's been hell. i almost can't put it into words how frustrated i am with myself over this. i know some people will find it ridiculous that i'm so hard on myself...and some days i'd agree, but those days are rare.

let me fill you in on what's been going on (in a nutshell). my training was going great and right on track and then three weeks ago i landed a sweet promotion that i had been waiting for for almost four months. then, the stress of this new job got the best of me. i used to be able to run apx. thirty miles a week in the middle of summer after working a nine hour day as a lawn tech (fyi - lawn tech work involves walking around eight-ten miles a day treating lawns). so i know i can push my body physically. up until a few weeks ago that's all i had to do. now, i have all of this mental stress (added on to my "normal" mental stress) and it's been really tough to get into a new routine. i've blown my diet, missed major runs, haven't seen the gym in weeks, and to top it off i tend to dwell on these things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. and then some more.

i'm really determined to get back on track and figure out a routine, so tonight i'll do what i should've done a long time ago. i'm getting out the notebook and pen and doing some writing. i'm cancelling the pity party where i'm the only one invited and the party is so lame that i don't even show up and i'm gonna start doing life. life is way too awesome and short to be so worried about these little things. i know how to do all of this stuff and i know how to do it well, so i'm going back to where i started: way off track but determined and motivated and willing to do whatever it takes to reach my goal!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: life is hard for everyone. my life is probably not as hard as yours so why am i complaining? but if i find out my life is in fact harder than yours and you're complaining...i'm calling you out.

week thirteen numbers:

starting weight: 185

monday - 9 miles / 01:20:17 (8:56)
tuesday - 4 miles / 34:00 (8:30)
wednesday - rest
thursday - rest
friday - rest
saturday - rest
sunday - rest

total mileage for the week: 13 miles

ending weight: 188

total weight loss/gain: +3

random

2011-03-24T06:03:00.000-05:00

have you ever been sitting around and randomly thought, "it'd be so awesome to _________________!"

well...i do. all of the time. here's how this one went down:

me: (while eating a banana) it'd be so awesome to wing this banana at that mirror right now.

emily: (being awesome as usual) you totally should!

me: (with evil grin that's there most of the time on his face wings banana)

mirror:

me and emily: (laughing hysterically like we're both eight years old)

THE END.

marathon training (week twelve)

2011-03-20T09:32:00.000-05:00

i'm getting there. trying to get into a new routine with this new job and the new hours has been a little harder than i thought it was going to be. i was a little worried last week/going into this week that i wasn't going to be able to figure out a new routine, but i think it's going to work. i mean...it has to, right?

i'm making it a goal this week: week thirteen is going to be awesome. i'm going to get all of my runs in and get my diet back on track. i'm gonna freakin' rock it!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: it's the best feeling in the world to finish a run.

week twelve numbers:

starting weight: 181

monday - 4.5 miles / not timed
tuesday - rest
wednesday - rest
thursday - rest
friday - rest
saturday - 12 miles / 01:40:30 (8:23)
sunday - rest
total mileage for the week: 16.5 miles

ending weight: 185

total weight loss/gain: +4

marathon training (week eleven)

2011-03-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

wow...what a week. it was my first official week as service manager and it was a doozy. when i was just a lawn tech last year i rarely ever worked over forty hours. going into the winter, being inside doing shop work, i was stuck working forty hours...and i thought that was bad. turns out, being a manager you work more hours. who would've thought?

here's how it affected my running this week: i didn't run once. (WHAATTT!?!) i know...i'm thinking the same thing. i know taking some "time off" now and then is a good thing, but not when you're more than halfway into marathon training. i had a big week planned this week. over thirty freakin' miles, man! needless to say, i'm bummin this week to an eleven (ironic that it's week eleven in training, huh?)

on a more downer note, it ~~was~~ is really hard for me to not feel lazy about not running or going to the gym. it didn't help that this week i got completely off track with my diet and ate like total trash. it was what some would call a perfect storm. good thing is...storms pass and then comes the super rad sunshine after. yikes, that was pretty cheeseball writing. sorry about that.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: i am not a machine. i need rest and cannot push myself harder and harder each week. my body literally shut down on me this week forcing me to realize that resting and rejuving (think i made that word up) are nothing but good things.

week eleven numbers:

starting weight: 178

monday - rest
tuesday - rest
wednesday - rest
thursday - rest
friday - rest
saturday - rest
sunday - rest
total mileage for the week: 00 miles

ending weight: 181

total weight loss/gain: +3

marathon training (week ten)

2011-03-06T11:04:00.001-06:00

running...i feel like i talk/think about it too much. i've started to realize this from facebook. i have a couple of 'friends' on fb that only update their status about one thing. it's usually some hobby or something that they specifically care about. sometimes i feel like i might be like that. i definitely don't want to turn people away because i talk about a hobby too much. is it an addiction? yes. i'll admit it. i am addicted to running. since i admitted it though no one can give me grief, right?

this week wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. let me rephrase that...this week was tough, but my times were really good (for me). i actually felt like i got stronger this week. i realized that my breathing was great during all of my runs and my legs aren't doing too bad either.

then the fifteen miler rolled around...what. the. cuss!? i'll just say this...it was predictable. it was what you'd picture running for fifteen miles being like. then add in eighteen mile per hour winds from the north, ginormous snow flakes, and dehydration and there you go!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: talking to a fellow runner is about the best motivation you can get. a corporate guy was at our branch today (03/01/11) to talk agronomics with us for the upcoming season and i found out a while ago he's a runner. naturally, i felt compelled to bring it up to build a little rapport with him. turns out, he's done around five marathons. chicago, nyc, one in seattle, and even the infamous boston! say whaa!? anyway...it was awesome to talk with him about my training and getting all of the advice/tips from him. he really pumped me up and gave me the whole "i think i can really do this" type of feeling...which is always nice!

week ten numbers:

starting weight: 180

monday - rest
tuesday - 3 miles / 21:47 (7:16)
wednesday - 4 miles / 32:49 (8:13)
thursday - 7 miles / 56:16 (8:03)
friday - rest
saturday - 15 miles / 02:26:25 (9:46)
sunday - rest!!
total mileage for the week: 29 miles

ending weight: 178

total weight loss/gain: -2

"The benefit to complaining is that you are never alone." *

2011-03-03T18:24:00.001-06:00

the great wise musician, joe walsh, once said, "i can't complain, but sometimes i still do." i have to start this entire post by saying this is strictly my own personal opinion. oh, and also, i complain a lot.

how do you feel when you hear someone complaining? you might say, "well, tony, you good looking dude...it all depends on what they're complaining about." for the most part i would agree. for me, i can't stand it when people complain about things out of their control. here are a few examples of what i'm talking about:

-the weather
-gas prices
-traffic
-taxes
-growing old
-democrats
-republicans
-justin bieber

complaining about things that are IN our control is a totally different story that maybe i'll get to someday, but what are we to do when we hear people complaining about the uncontrollable types of things? nothing, right? nah. i say we start a freakin' revolution. i think we can make a difference. what if during these scenarios we react like this:

The Weather Complainer:
weather complainer: man...this weather is horribly cold. i mean...i can't believe how cold it is. i shiver. i hurt. i don't breathe normal. i can't feel my fingers. i have to scrape my car windows EVERY single morning and i have to watch where i step or i might slip and fall on ice! there's even snow on the ground! ugh...can you believe this weather??
new optimistic/anti-complainer: (while smiling) unfortunately...i can believe this weather. statistically, this season we're in is normally like this. (pull out paperwork with statistical graphs and fancy color-coordinated pie charts) see (point at paperwork), last year we had this type of weather and the previous year we did, too.
weather complainer: you're right. after seeing those statistics/charts...it's just plain silly to complain about the weather. it doesn't do anyone any good. it's just something that happens, and if i truly have a "problem" with it...i should move somewhere where the weather is predictable and a kind of weather that i enjoy. thanks for your help, friend!

The Gas Price Complainer:
gas price complainer: DUDE! $3.45 a gallon!?! what the cuss!?! back in my day...gas was a nickle. just a nickle....not even per gallon. you just pulled up and took as much gas as you wanted/needed and gave the guy a nickle! you know, this is all obama's fault!?
new optimistic/anti-complainer: although it's easy to point fingers at who's fault this is...i don't know if it's worth it. plus, my mom always told me it's not polite to point, but you know what we can do? we can opt for purchasing fuel efficient vehicles. or better yet...we can commute to work if you're lucky enough to live close to your work and you could walk or ride a bike. what about setting up a carpool? in my case...i just suck it up, pay the $3.45/gallon and try to drive less or budget for it!
gas price complainer: oh...well...it still sucks and what you say is true. although i can't afford an electric car or have an opportunity to carpool, i think i'll start budgeting my money better to be able to afford these gas prices. maybe then i won't have to waste as much breath/energy complaining. thanks for your help, friend!

now these are just a couple of scenarios and ~~obviously~~ unfortunately each one won't go this way, but you get the point i'm trying to make, right? what if each and everyone of us (including me) just try to complain less (or try to neutralize negative conversations)! i'm at least going to make an attempt to complain only about the stuff that is in my control. if i'm complaining about things that are in MY control, then guess who can change these things for the better....

*the quote from the title was said by byron pulsifer

marathon training (week nine)

2011-02-27T12:41:00.000-06:00

this week has been a tough running week. i felt major fatigue all week and my head just wasn't in it. it's a little frustrating actually because i'm normally really optimistic even while running. lately though...it's been rough. i'll find myself thinking during the entire run how i don't want to be running. it's clearly a sign that i might need a little time off. well...too bad. :)

i also got a wicked bad chest cold last week that prevented me from sleeping good at night. i normally get about six hours of sleep (i know it's not enough), but with all of the coughing i was doing it was even less than six. i finally went to the doctor tuesday and got put on a five-day antibiotic which i think is helping. she even told me (not sure if this is a good thing or not) that i could continue to train...just as long as i "try to take it a little easy...maybe slow your pace down." no problem, doc!

and of course you all heard i got the promotion at work, right? i mean...it's not like that is now my most popular blog post ever (by like three times as much as any other post). the job is going great, too!!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: i NEED a minimalist shoe. yes, i'm going to be trendy and make the switch to a minimalist shoe. i don't even care. that's all. i'm planning on getting these next time i'm willing to spend money on running shoes.

week nine numbers:

starting weight: 178

monday - rest
tuesday - 3 miles / 26:41 (8:47)
wednesday - rest
thursday - 7 miles / 01:03:30 (9:05)
friday - 4 miles / 33:40 (8:25) 30 minutes strength training
saturday - rest
sunday - 10 miles / 01:32:41 (9:17)

total mileage for the week: 24 miles

ending weight: 180

total weight loss/gain: +2

food of the month

2011-02-26T15:21:00.000-06:00

i'm adding a new monthly post to my blog. as the title states...it's going to be about a new food (or drink) every month. emily and i are not picky eaters by any means, but there are still a lot of things we haven't tried.

this month we tried an asian pear. the aesthetics of this thing are pretty sweet. emily especially liked the "packaging" it came in. i really didn't know what it would taste like. actually it was a little surprising. i almost felt like it had a pear + apple + potato combination going on. it was sweet like an apple and/or pear, but had the texture/crunch like a potato. i would definitely eat one again...but it's not something i'd trade my regular pears and apples for.

asian pear:

-would i recommend it? yes

-easy to prepare? wash it and eat it...pretty simple :)

-availability? we found it at wal-mart (go figure)

-health benefits? low calorie and good healthy fiber!

moving on up

2011-02-23T21:57:00.000-06:00

you may have previously read something in my blog about the promotion i was up for, or maybe you didn't because you're tired of reading about running. either way...onto the good news.

i got it!! i'm now a service manager!!

i found out today. can you believe this dude will be managing people? to say i'm excited is an understatement. an understatement like type politicians use to tell taxpayers their taxes will "go up slightly." what?

i'm ~~the type of person~~ becoming the type of person who likes to figure out what i'm suppose to learn in certain life situations. i believe God puts me (and you) in tons of different predicaments just to see how we come out of it and to teach us something. with all of the waiting i did for this promotion (close to four months probably) i could very easily tell that patience was top on the "things you need to learn from this" list. i feel like i was able to check that one off. not like i have patience conquered or anything...but you get what i mean, right? i feel confident that emily would say i'm a much more patient person than i used to be, but i'm not going to wait around while you ask her...that would take forever. moving on.

faith and contentment were two key factors in this experience, too. it was tough to keep faith that God does know what's best for me. it was difficult to remember that no matter what the outcome could've been...it was God's will being done. would i have been content if i hadn't gotten this promotion? i'd like to think so, but i'll be honest...being content was the most difficult part of this deal.

power of prayer! it works, my friends. it really does. what's the saying..."God doesn't always answer 'yes' to your prayers...but He does always answer." you get what it's saying though. i really learned a lot about prayer. at first i felt guilty for praying for a promotion. "dear God...it'd be really awesome if you could get me this promotion. i know i'd get a big raise, but of course...only if it's Your plan for me...i mean, You know best." scripture says that if we need something...anything....just ask. so, i did. over and over and over and over and over again. like a kid sitting in the back seat asking his/her parents every minute if they're there yet. 99.9999% of the time that answer is no, but guess what....eventually that kid is going to get a 'yes' out of his parents. by just asking!

marathon training (week eight)

2011-02-20T09:40:00.000-06:00

this week was stressful. did you happen to catch my earlier post this week about stress? i did my best to handle it and try to deal, but dude...it's really starting to wear me down. it didn't help that i got a wicked chest virus thing that caused me to have the worst cough ever and a really bad sore throat. the good part is...a new week/day is beginning and i'm feeling good about it.

i've made some changes in the past couple years and one of the changes i'm most proud of is being more optimistic. it truly does have an affect on your everyday life. seriously, it does. there have been studies done. just ask emily (i should make a t-shirt with that saying on it). luck and coincidence and karma and all that other crap pessimistic people try to blame it on has nothing to do with it. optimism wins.

so how does this all tie into running you ask? great question, my friend. when you're working toward something, wanting some change in your life, or simply trying to adjust your perspective...your attitude (ie being optimistic) is everything! our minds are a crazy thing...and the best part is, is that we do actually have control over it.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: stress is fuel for faster times. in my opinion, it's really important for people to have ways to relieve stress. for example...playing guitar or listening to some really good music is a big stress reliever for me. lately, reading has helped, too. in some cases, like today (2/15/11), running was the best way to relieve stress. my day sucked, so i took it out on the road. (that sounds like it could be in a running commercial or something, right? no?)

one extra thing i learned about running because i love learning: there are some people in this world that do not give a crap about what you do...but that does not matter. keep doing what you believe in! no matter what anyone says/thinks/does.

week eight numbers:

starting weight: 175

monday - rest / 30 minutes strength training
tuesday - 3 miles / 23:35 (7:52)
wednesday - 6 miles / 50:59 (8:30) / 30 minutes strength training
thursday - 3 miles / 20:15 (6:45) fastest 5k yet. i feel like a baller.
friday - rest
saturday - 13 miles / 01:58:13 (9:06)
sunday - REST!

total mileage for the week: 25 miles

ending weight: 178

total weight loss/gain: +3

just a funny commercial. enjoy!

stresss

2011-02-15T17:04:00.003-06:00

it's turned into a four letter word for me. stress. it stresses me out just saying it...even hearing someone else say it. why do we stress? because we think we can control every situation? or maybe because we know we can't control every situation, but think that somehow we can defy all odds and start controlling situations that are out of our control. the latter? i'm thinking so, too.

a few nights ago it all caught up to me. realizing what all i had on my plate. then, this is the best part, i stressed myself out even more by thinking that i actually shouldn't be stressed because there are tons of people out there who have it way worse than me. they have much bigger plates with a lot more on it, and not in a good way where it's all really good food or sugary desserts or something like that. ultimately, life is good.

i have a more-than-amazing relationship with my wife.
i have great family.
i have really good friends who care about me.
i worship a loving/forgiving God.
i have freedom in the country i live.
i have the food i prefer to eat.
i have clean water.
i have warmth when i'm cold (unless i'm driving in my car).
i have cold when i'm hot.
i have medicine when i'm sick.
i have a shower when i'm dirty.
i have a "good" job.
i have a lot.
too much actually.

and this, my friends......stresses me out.

welcome to bummersville, illinois. <--- that was stupid.

marathon training (week seven)

2011-02-13T09:44:00.000-06:00

this week i went on a "business trip" tuesday through thursday. it was the first work trip i've ever gone on. it was an experience. to fill you all in, because this has everything to do with running, i'm up for a promotion at work.

i work at trugreen as a lawn specialist (the dude who treats lawns), but a while back i was approached by a supervisor asking me if i'd be interested in moving up in the company. so, here i am now going for service manager (the person who runs production and manages all of the specialists) and it involved some extensive training that happened to be this week. the hotel i stayed at was in a very industrial/stop light-y area, so it was almost impossible to get a good run/route in. so guess what? i was forced to use their fitness center (which was very nice) and ended up running on a treadmill. ironic right? the week after the blizzard and me complaining about using a treadmill...i'm stuck using a treadmill again. and this week...it involved a six miler.

my long run today was twelve miles. twelves miles of suck. it was hard. i'm talking about the kind of hard workout when you want to give up, but deep down you know it'll hurt worse to give up than just keep going. it took everything i had plus an adrenaline boost from a bad driver that made me mad to finish today. i did it in decent time...but of course i would've liked to finish quicker. go figure!

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: running is what you make it. duh, right? not really. i just finished reading born to run and i actually ended up learning a lot from it. it was one of those books that i almost didn't want to read because it is SO popular in the running community. then i realized i'm not cool enough to decide when not to follow trends...so i caved.

week seven numbers:

starting weight: 179

monday - rest
tuesday - 6 miles / 53:01 (8:51)
wednesday - 3 miles / 24:30 (8:01)
thursday - rest
friday - 3 miles / 25:20 (8:27)
saturday - rest
sunday - 12 miles / 01:52:35 (9:23)

total mileage for the week: 24 miles

ending weight: 175

total weight loss/gain: -4 (thanks to the Hyatt for not offering vegetarian friendly meals)

marathon training (week six)

2011-02-06T12:16:00.000-06:00

me: man, this week is going to be a good training week. less miles = not as hard.
blizzard: oh, tony...you dummie. nothing comes easy...and this i will show you.
me: i like snow. after all...it is illinois and snow tends to happen here. whatevs, blizzard.
blizzard: seriously...i am a blizzard and your breathable running clothes are no match.

that's basically how it went this week. the freakin' blizzard ~~kept~~ forced me to stay inside and run on the dreadmill. yeah...the "DREADMILL!" now, i can handle a two or three mile easy run on a treadmill, but if i have to do anything over three...i get a little angry. ok..a lot angry. (thank you emily for sneaking around paparazzi style and snagging gracious photos of me to post on my blog.)

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: it snows in illinois, people. running in it is a blast. most times. unless it's life-threatening...

week six numbers:

starting weight: 180

monday - rest / stretching
tuesday - 3 miles / 25:54 (8:38) too icy out to be "safe," completed on the dreadmill
wednesday - 5 miles / 45:44 (9:09) too drifty and unsafe, completed on the stupid dreadmill!
thursday - 3 miles / 24:24 (8:08) guess where? yep.
friday - rest
saturday - 7 miles / 01:02:11 (8:53) outside!!
sunday - rest
total mileage for the week: 18 miles

ending weight: 179

total weight loss/gain: -1

sixty-four ounces a day

2011-02-01T11:01:00.000-06:00

that's how much water we are told to drink per day. brag warning: i drink seventy to ninety ounces a day. feeling guilty warning: there are a billion people on this planet that don't have access to clean water. as i type that statistic...i get chills. here i am trying (as a goal) to drink more water than what is recommended for personal dietary reasons.

reality check..."unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all disease and kill more people than all forms of violence, including WAR!"

this organization, charity: water, is doing boss at getting people (humans like you and me) clean water! i know it's hard for us (humans like you and me who have clean water) to imagine what life is like without clean water, but it's not impossible. the only thing it actually is (the fact that we have access to clean water)...it's a praise! we need to be thankful for things like this. unfortunately, it goes on my "things i take for granted" list too often.

they have a great FAQ's page to check out if you wonder how they go about doing "business" or how much of the money raised goes to helping people (the answer is 100%). you can check out their 2009 annual report and i'm confident it will make you tear up reading through what they've done so far and what they're doing AND how motivated/driven they are to getting everyone clean water.

i love hearing about organizations/groups like this (thanks to emily for showing me) because it proves that there are AMAZING people in this world doing AMAZING things. i hope it motivates you as much as it does me to help! i'll never forget a couple months ago when i looked up the word 'serve' in the dictionary just to see what all of the definitions were (yes, i'm a nerd like that...sometimes). the one definition that stood out and i will never forget: serve - to answer the needs of

so, what do you say? want to serve others or what!? (rhetorical) let's do it!

marathon training (week five)

2011-01-30T09:43:00.000-06:00

i'm feeling tired this week. like...physically, emotionally, metaphysically, and super-megaphysically. it might have something to do with the fact that i get an average of 5.4 hours of sleep per night, or it could have something to do with the fact that i'm training for a marathon. either way...i'm exhausted. but guess what? i'm not stopping! (hoots and hollers in the background) i've also been reading anything i can find on scott jurek and finishing up the book born to run to use for motivation/inspiration.

i switched up my diet a week or so ago. i'll be honest...it was a good move (so far). i've always read/heard about athletes doing a five to six micromeal a day diet, but i never really got interested in it. that is, until i realized what that meant. i could literally eat every couple hours with no guilt. if planned right (which we all know i'm a planner) it can work out awesome...and it has so far (except for the days where i ~~accidentally~~ don't eat enough and then eat too much to get "caught back up").

another thing...did you know i'm into music? well, i'm not really...but i did just stumble across a cool band called My Dad Vs. Yours. along with a funny name (of course, my dad would win!)...they are really talented band. i'd say it's for fans of Explosions In The Sky or Unwed Sailor type bands. you know...bands that are so cool they don't need a singer?

my gym workouts have been going really good, too. i was able to go twice this week (which is my goal), but some weeks are harder than others. i've been gaining some muscle, so at least i know i'm doing something right, right? right. it sucks to see the number on the scale move up though...but that's a totally different story.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: there are days when you really don't want to run...and you don't really even need to run, but you do anyway. and then? you feel freakin' GREAT! then a couple days later you forget all about this phenomenon until you run when you don't feel like it and you're reminded of how awesome it feels!

week five numbers:

starting weight: 178.4

monday - rest
tuesday - 3 miles / 25:43 (8:35) 30 minutes of strength training
wednesday - 5 miles / 44:21 (8:53)
thursday - 3 miles / 26:00 (8.40) 30 minutes of strength training
friday - rest! (resting with an exclamation point is the best)
saturday - 10 miles / 01:32:51 (9:18)
sunday - rest and praising the Lord!

total mileage for the week: 21 miles

ending weight: 180

total weight loss/gain: +1.6

we call him jasper.

2011-01-26T05:28:00.000-06:00

my nephew, Jasper (see above), is a cool dude. you can read (plenty of pictures, too!) a lot about him here at my sister's blog. although she is a nerd...she's made out to be a pretty awesome sister. we won't get into the "cool contest" in this post. just ask my parents...they'll tell you the truth. i have emails to prove who they think is best.

i was looking through all of the pictures Emily took over the holidays and came across a few pictures of me and Jasper playing with a new toy he got Christmas morning. it made me realize how much i love that little guy and just how awesome he is/is going to be as he gets older. i CANNOT wait until he grows up more and we can scheme together and really begin the "freak out your parents" phase and the "holy crap, uncle tony is off the hook" phase. yes, he will speak that way...because i will teach him!

marathon training (week four)

2011-01-23T09:00:00.002-06:00

useless fact disclaimer...four is my lucky number. so, now you know. it feels good to be on week four of training. i was a little worried (mostly in the way your mom used to worry about you driving through parklands at night because deer are always around there and assuming you're speeding like a punk kid type of way) about any type of pain coming back in my legs. awesome to say...pain is nowhere to be found.

the week kicked off with me doing my four mile run instead of the scheduled three. i really missed my original four mile route, so i did it tuesday. it felt great and i ran it in a pretty good time. the rest of my week went pretty good, too. besides the cold weather (it's illinois, people!) i really felt great all week.

the nine miles today was just as you might think a nine mile run would be when it's five degrees out with a bit of a wind from the northeast. it was the type of run where all of a sudden you're caught thinking, "i'm not going to make it. i'm going to freeze to death out here and no one will find me...ever." now, one might say, "well, tony...shouldn't you feel a little safer since you have a road ID?" and my response would be, "yes, if i would've remembered to take it off my old pair of shoes and put it on my new ones, but i didn't so that automatically means if i die out here from cold no one will know who i am." (obviously, i run out in the wilderness where civilization is nowhere to be found.)

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: people in cars are not your friend. while running, consider all vehicles heat seeking missiles directed at you. be prepared to hop off the road into a freezing cold snowy mud mix while almost falling but still managing to keep pace while turning around to give a nice, "hey thanks for keeping me on my toes, Jesus loves You" wave.

week four numbers:

starting weight: 179

monday - rest
tuesday - 4 miler / 32:24 (8:06 miles)
wednesday - 3 miles / 23:10 (7:44) (sidenote...this is the fastest i've ever done three. should be faster.)
thursday - 3 miles / 24:54 (8:18)
friday - rest (stretched my legs every other hour...my hamstrings are WAY tight)
saturday - 30 minutes of strength training & a one mile (resistance 8) on a stationery bike
sunday - 9 miles / 01:19:47 (8:52)
total mileage for the week: 19 miles

ending weight: 178.4

total weight loss/gain: -0.6

pops and hisses included

2011-01-22T16:03:00.000-06:00

one of the best sounds in the world (to me) is the sound of the pops and hisses coming from a record player. what i like even more than that is the sound in between tracks on an album. it does something to me. takes me back? back to where? i don't know. i think it takes me to a feeling, not a place. the feeling of music can be an experience to say the least. i think every time i hear that specific sound it reminds me of music and all it has to offer. what all it has done and what all it's doing.

for Christmas i got a record player. this past weekend while emily and i were up north watching her aunt and uncle's dogs and cat we went to a couple places for me to really get my record collection going. i think emily is a bit nervous though now seeing A.) how long i can spend in a record store, and B.) how much i'm probably going to spend on my collection.

marathon training (week three)

2011-01-16T13:10:00.000-06:00

this week started out a little sketchy. as you remember (because it was sooooo long ago) i had a miserable run on sunday, so i was a little worried how monday was going to feel. surprisingly, i woke up feeling a little stiff, but once i got to work, all of the stiffness kind of just went away. i tried my best to stretch my legs as much as i could throughout the day. i have to admit...having coworkers walk in on you while you're stretching your quads is just a little embarrassing...not like "full-on embarrassing" but quite close.

my four miler today (01/12/11) was SO good. man, i love a good run! i wish i knew what i did different to make me run like that...two thumbs up. although it was a brisk twenty degrees out with a MAJOR wind from the northwest...i was "flying" and felt great at the same time! people were driving by cheering me on and yelling how skinny i looked and that i was running so fast and all that cool stuff that didn't really happen but in my mind it did. (now you see why i use run-on sentences so often it works great in jokes and storytelling.)

good news for you, too. week four i start timing all my runs. it should be exciting/humiliating. mostly excited because i've felt like i've gotten a little stronger, so i'm hoping it shows in my times. i also broke in my new shoes for training. i'm using a pair of saucony progrid guide 3's and plan on getting a second pair to work into my training to use for the race. by the time i get closer to the race the pair i just broke in will be ready to retire, so i'll need a back-up pair to be race ready. comprende?

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: rest days are hard. i can't STAND taking time off of running (hours/days/months). but, as i learned the hard way, and reminded by my friend tyler....you have to know when to say enough is enough and take a freakin' break! my legs say thank you.

week three numbers:

starting weight: 180

monday - rest (lots of stretching)
tuesday - 3 miler*
wednesday - 4 miler (a fantastic four, original, right? seriously...it was great! fast and fun!)
thursday - 3 miler (second fastest ever @ 23:44) and 40 minutes of strength training before work
friday - rest
saturday - rest
sunday - 5 miler (up at Emily's aunt and uncle's place. i consider them my aunt and uncle. and they have nice running grounds up there.)

total mileage for the week: 15 miles

ending weight: 179

total weight loss/gain: -1

*comfortable pace = somewhere between 8:00 - 8:45 miles
**marathon pace = my goal is sub 4:00:00, so i'm shooting for right around 9:00 miles
***long runs = just finish :)

marathon training (week two)

2011-01-09T09:28:00.001-06:00

today (1/07/11) was one of those days where i feel like i'm not a real runner. you know...a "runner," runner. it's easy to come out with it now. i'm hard on myself. a little too hard. not like...i hate myself, but i'm pretty much a jerk sometimes to myself. simply put. i don't see myself as a runner that's for sure. i still see myself as..well..i won't say "heavy," but i don't see myself thin either. it's a struggle i have. i won't lie here...it's been one of the hardest things i've dealt with since i've lost the weight. gaining a new self image and self confidence to go along with it was harder than i could ever imagine. emily will attest to this...i've said it before, "if i would've known it'd be this hard...i would've never lost the weight to begin with!" obviously, i don't really think that...but some days it feels that way.

running 20 miles a week automatically makes you stick thin, right? wrong.
working out 3-4 times a week automatically makes you get ripped, right? wrong.
counting calories until your friends and family poke fun of you makes you thin, right? wrong.
reading health magazines/articles makes you healthy, right? wrong.

realizing that some days suck and you mess up and overeat, but knowing tomorrow you can move on and be the healthy, fit dude you truly are makes you thin, right? you're on the right track.

today (1/09/11) i did my 7 mile long run. i made it out right around 7am with a temperature of 3 degrees, but no wind. honestly...it was one of the most miserable runs i have ever experienced. i'm the type of runner that normally gets into the "groove" about a mile into a run. well, today, it never happened. what did happen, you ask? my legs were cramping, i couldn't get warm, my left contact was really aggravating my eye, i had to pee, the crown of the road was messing with my right shin, my gloves felt too tight, the wind picked up each mile, and not to give out too much information (if i preface a sentence with that it probably means i'm going to give out too much information), but my "dude parts" were frozen. with all that said, running today absolutely sucked. it was the type of run when you finally finish you say, "what the crap am i doing this for? seriously...that was miserable!" now as i sit here in a nice warm house after a warm shower wearing warm clothes and warm slippers eating three bananas...i'm shivering cold! isn't running a total smash!?

something that is a little stressful and has me a bit worried is the "minor discomfort" (that's runner-talk for pain, but being too stubborn to admit it) in my right shin. i'm praying it was just from the crown of the road or even that the shoes i'm in have about 310 miles on them. they normally last about 350 give or take a few.

one thing i learned/re-learned this week in regards to running: no matter what i say/do/think/feel/hear....i LOVE running!

week two numbers:

starting weight: 177.4
monday - cross training (30 minutes of strength training)
tuesday - 3 miler*
wednesday - 3 miler**
thursday - 3 miler (too fast)
friday - rest! and rest!
saturday - cross training (30 minutes of strength training)
sunday - 7 mile long run***

total mileage for the week: 16 miles

ending weight: 180 (lame)

total weight loss/gain: +2.6

*comfortable pace = somewhere between 8:00 - 8:45 miles
**marathon pace = my goal is sub 4:00:00, so i'm shooting for right around 9:00 miles
***long runs = just finish :)

enjoy this. if it ever seems as if i am this guy...please, please let me know. just not while i'm running. :)

marathon training (week one)

2011-01-03T12:05:00.001-06:00

game on! week one is done. only seventeen more to go!

my weeks start on mondays and end with a long run on sundays. week one was not really the way i wanted my training to start. somehow i got sick over Christmas weekend. it was almost like the flu, but it only lasted a couple days. needless to say...it was freakin' awful training with all that happening! during one of my runs (no pun intended) i actually threw up. luckily i wasn't around too many houses, so i'm pretty sure no one saw. can you imagine if you saw a runner throw up midrun? honestly...i kind of felt hardcore. well, not at the time. at the time i was thinking, "what am i doing out here!?! why is this so important!?! what did i eat that looks like that!?!" and then i finished and learned the answer...to at least the first two questions i was contemplating.

my legs feel good. most importantly...i don't feel any knee pain most of the day, so that's a really good sign. late sunday afternoon after the six miler i felt a little achiness in both knees, but it seemed to fade out by later in the evening. it feels SO good to get back into running. being off because of an injury is honestly really hard for me. it makes me feel lazy and stressed. i know it's silly...but at the same time, i know other runners totally understand this feeling.

in case anyone is interested in my times for each of my runs...i'll be timing all of my runs once i get into week three. the first couple of weeks i really want to focus on getting back into the 'training mindset' and not focus solely on time. you know...like i'll be doing the last fifteen weeks of training.

one thing i learned this week in regards to running: i'm still not a fan of listening to music while running...but i do love listening to some blues or jazz before i head out.

week one numbers:

starting weight: 181.3

monday - rest (what better way to kick off training, right?)
tuesday - 3 miler comfortable pace* (cp)
wednesday - 3 miler marathon pace** (mp)
thursday - 3 miler (cp)
friday - cross training (30 minutes of strength training and 5 miles on stationary bike with level 10 resistance)
saturday - rest (happy new year)
sunday - 6 mile long run*** (cp)
total mileage for the week: 15 miles

ending weight: 177.4

total weight loss/gain: -3.9

*comfortable pace = somewhere between 8:00 - 8:45 miles
**marathon pace = my goal is sub 4:00:00, so i'm shooting for right around 9:00 miles
***long runs = just finish :)

so long 2010...bring it on, 2011

2010-12-31T11:40:00.000-06:00

dude...can you believe 2010 is almost history? in some ways it feels like 2010 started yesterday. in most other ways though, it feels as if 2010 has been going on for well over a year. obviously impossible so that's good it's just in my head.

my favorite thing about ringing in a new year? setting new goals.

my least favorite thing about ringing in a new year? remembering to write 2011, not 2010, on checks and other forms/documents.

most interesting thing that happened to me in 2010? emily and i made a big move away from amazing friends and a nice town/area/routine...into unfamiliar territory and new things all around.

least interesting thing that happened to me in 2010? i only got my hair cut five times.

one thing i'm looking forward to the most in 2011? running the marathon in april.

one thing i'm dreading already in 2011? running the marathon in april. (see what i did there?)

one thing is for certain...2011 is going to rock. i hope it rocks for you as well. i know a ton of people have a New Year's resolution. i am way too cool for that though...ok, not really...i have one, or two. possibly three:

     1. emily and i have a "couples resolution" and it's basically to start living the lives we want to live. no matter what. we're going to stop making these lame excuses of why we're not doing what we want to be doing!

     2. my second resolution is to start eating real food. it's very simple...i'm going to eat real food. like...really 'real' food. we (meaning, myself and most people i know) live in a place where food is way too accessible/processed and people (including me) take advantage of it. in 2011...i won't!

     3. lastly, i'm making it a resolution to achieve my goals from my "goals for 2011" list (which i'll be blogging about soon). i almost feel like i'm tricking my mind on this one, by making this a New Year's resolution...it's almost like i'm setting almost twenty more resolutions.

jokes aside...i really hope you have an amazing 2011, set some awesome goals, and achieve them! you can do it. and besides...if you don't....who cares!? you still went for it!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

happy birthday to my dad

2010-12-21T12:02:00.000-06:00

my dad is the man. that is the only way i can start this post. ever since i can remember (which i found out it is back to the age of 3) i've known my dad to be totally awesome! today is his 54th birthday. one of the coolest things about him being 54? answer, he runs about 20-25 miles every week and just ran a half marathon back in august (and i'm making him do another in april). so, when i say my dad is the man...you now know what i mean.

rather than just getting him a funny card and a present (which of course we did) i thought it'd be cool to just do a fun list (go figure) of some things he's taught me in life, a few funny quirks, and maybe a few things in between.

he taught me how to eat an ice cream cone. that's right...there's a science to it. and my dad knows it.
he taught me how to shoot a plastic pop bottle cap across the room by snapping your fingers. i used to climb up in between the doorway in our living room and he'd shoot bottle caps at me from his chair. oh, the good ole' days. (honestly...it wasn't child abuse...it was actually a blast!)
when i was real young and he'd mow the lawn with a rider (then when i got old enough he made me use a push mower) sometimes my mom would take me out there to sit on his lap while he mowed.

i used to be a "worker man" with him when he'd have to fix something in our house. apparently i'd put a rag in my back pocket just like him, too.

he showed me how to stack coins near your elbow, palm facing up back by your ear, and then swing your hand down catching the whole stack without losing any. i can probably do more than him, but whatever.
on that note...you can put a quarter in the palm of your hand, he'll put his hand under yours and he'll be able to snatch the quarter from your hand before you can pull it away. i'd put money on it. a quarter probably.
he taught me how to play baseball. he was also my little league coach. which was cool.
he can whistle so loud that when i was a kid playing all the way down the block, he'd whistle before dinner and i'd hear it. ridiculous. i used to/just tried to learn how to do that...and cannot.
i brought him to show and tell in the second grade because he was an E.M.T.
sometimes when we'd be in church, he'd squeeze my knee and if i laughed because it tickled (happened everytime) he'd say it was because i was girl crazy.
he helped me make awesome pinewood dirby cars for cub scouts...and i'm sure my mom still has them in the attic.
he taught me how to fly a kite.

i used to help him do the chains for the high school football games. i was in charge of the clip (which is where the ball is on the field) and my mom claims it taught me responsibility. :)
i used to get a lot of r/c cars for Christmas and sometimes we'd go out to his work and i'd get to drive them all over the place. it was super awesome. especially the ramps we built.
he taught me how to fish when we used to go camping as a family every weekend.
he was always at my school functions or anything i had going on. he always has and always will support me in anything i do.
when i turned 16 and got my license, he told me good job and gave me twenty bucks to fill up my gas tank. maybe that's why he was so upset when i got those two speeding tickets in two weeks. nah.
he also taught me how to drive a stick shift. even though i suck at it...i don't blame him.
he basically taught me how to be a runner. with his little tips here and there and helping me get my first pair of running shoes...that was a big help with what has made me, me.
he has this hilarious quirk that has somehow been passed down to me. when a bag of chips or pretzels gets a little low, he HAS to cut off some of the top of the bag. i think it's so his hand/arm doesn't touch any of the bag? easier access? i don't know...i don't really care...all i know...is I DO IT, TOO!
he has clearly passed down his sarcasm and quick humor to me. that i'm thankful for. i mean, come on...it's awesome always having something funny to say.
apparently we walk and run the same. of course i look cooler but that's besides the point.
something i've realized as i've continued to grow up is how much i charish our friendship. he's not just a dad anymore...he's a best friend to me...and that is super rad and something i pray i never take for granted.
the most important thing my dad has taught me/showed me/passed down to me is how to be a gentleman. he's set an amazing example for what it takes to be a man of God and how to love. whether it be how he loves my mom, or how he has shown love to me and my sister, or shown love to others.

what can i say? my dad is the freakin' man. he's honestly the best dad in the world. the only way your dad is better is if he bought you a riding lawn mower when you were younger so you didn't have to use a push mower for the ENTIRE lawn. i'm not bitter about that though. it obviously taught me something in life.

anway...here's to you, dad. happy birthday!

marathon training (pregame)

2010-12-15T13:26:00.000-06:00

there it is, folks. my marathon training plan i got off of hal higdon's website. i've heard of quite a few runners using a higdon training plan, so i figured what the heck. i'll give it a whirl. something like 1-4% of people have done a marathon...in the world. that's pretty sweet.

the marathon i'm doing (as of right now) is the christie clinic illinois marathon. it's april 30th, so in order for me to utilize the 18 week plan above...day 1 will be the day after Christmas. what a good Christmas present to myself, right? i'm actually really pumped. until quite recently...i haven't been running much due to a slight knee injury. i like to blame it on my job...not overuse or over-training (because i never overdo it...nerrrvver!!).

another cool thing about this is that i think i've got emily and my dad roped into running that day, too. i think they're both up for doing the half-marathon. they also have a 5K, 10K, wheelchair half, marathon relay, and even a youth run available.

but anyway...the point of this whole post. i'm thinking about doing a "marathon training blogular updatish type of post" either daily or weekly. something like that. would that be cool at all...to anyone? it would basically be a way for my readers to be able to follow my journey of training for my first marathon and all that goes along with it. the ups, the downs, aches, pains, nutrition, dieting, all that good stuff! i'm going to just tag them all as 'marathon training' so if you become a fan of just those updates...you can hop on my site and easily filter out all of the "other" updates. so, it wouldn't take place of my regular blog (don't worry). it'll be more of a supplemental feature to boost the enjoyment of reading my blog...if you're a fan of running of course. and if you're not...then you'll have the "other" posts to read/enjoy. it sounds like my blog is a bit segregated now, but i think it can be cool.

three* things you gotta do to rock at life

2010-12-13T15:28:00.004-06:00

that's correct...there are only three things. no more, no less. now you're glad you read my blog aren't you?

before i list off the three things you gotta do to rock at life...you should know a little background to how i came up with writing this post. well, i've had a little time free up for the next few weeks because i found out last friday that i was getting laid off. fortunately, i'm going to be back to work on the fourth of january, so it's not really life or death. it did come as a shock and i was a bit upset at first, but i understand/am trying to understand that some things in life just don't make sense. like when people say "i could care less" when they really mean to say, "i couldn't care less." doesn't make sense to me...but that's for another post.

the three* things you gotta do to rock at life...in this order:

1. be productive hopefully everyone knows what it feels like to be productive. the feeling you get when you realize you are getting SO much done throughout the day...that it almost feels like it should be tomorrow. that's what i'm talking about.
2. find/give love so, finding love is sometimes hard. some would argue that it could be impossible. well i disagree. although i'm not sure if "there is someone out there for everyone," i'm pretty sure i think that everyone is capable of giving love. and as far as finding love...well, you never really have to go too far if you think about it.
3. exercise i know, i know. exercise sucks. but does it really? most people who know me/used to know me definitely would say i was never much for exercising. in fact...i probably would've done just about anything to get out of exercising. nowadays...i love it! you've heard this from me before (probably), when we exercise...chemicals are released in our bodies that make us feel good. you can't beat that. i mean...you're human, right? because most humans i know continue to do things that make them feel good. we're creatures of habit.

good luck rocking at life!

*most likely there are a few more than just three, but today...when i'm feeling productive, ran 4 miles outside in 10 degree weather, and miss my wife really bad...it feels like three pretty much covers it.

remember when tv was cool?

2010-12-04T08:57:00.003-06:00

i was on good ole facebook this morning and saw that people are changing their profile pictures to a cartoon character from their childhood. i chose darkwing duck...you can check it out here. i think it's for child abuse awareness? i actually think april is national child abuse awareness month, but i could be wrong. i'm not trying to be a snot, i was just confused. either way...it was really fun to find websites about old tv shows i used to watch as a kid. took me waaaaaaay back.

i came across this awesome website called retro junk. you can search movies, shows, commercials, even people from the 70's, 80's, and 90's. seeing all of the stuff on there from my childhood was insane. i'm fortunate enough to have amazing childhood memories. the ones that when you think about...it literally makes you wish you were a kid again. then i think about what it'll be like when i'm 40..and then 50...and then 60...and then..well, i think that's far enough into the future for now.

some of my favorites were cartoons like, darkwing duck, tale spin, chip n dale rescue rangers, duck tales, teenage mutant ninja turtles, bobby's world, inspector gadget was pretty much the man, too. oh, and of course ghostbusters. i'm pretty sure i could keep going for quite sometime with this.

probably one of my favorite shows growing up was CHiPs. i remember my best friend back in the day would come over in the morning before school for breakfast (most times we'd devour a dozen blueberry muffins) and we'd watch that show. of course macgyver was top on the list, too. and who can ever forget full house?

it's completely crazy how watching something or hearing about something from your childhood can just ignite all of the memories and flood your brain. i love the feeling i get from watching all of these intro's to shows i used to watch. for some of them i can literally remember a particular time of watching the show. a saturday morning...after school...late at night...and even where i was sitting in our living room and how my mom had the room set up (she rearranges the living room a lot.) it's a little bittersweet sometimes because there are people who are close to me that aren't as fortunate to have such positive childhood memories. to be honest, it feels a little unfair. i mean, every child deserves to have an awesome childhood. luckily, i have the best parents in the world (no, seriously...mine are better than yours) and they are great teachers. they set/still set a good example of what it takes to be amazing parents. it gives me hope that i might make a good dad someday and give a kid a great childhood! one worth remembering and reminiscing about for their whole life.

there's no 'X' in Christmas

2010-12-01T17:41:00.003-06:00

Christmas feels different this year. i'm not exactly sure why. most years i have that, "i'm getting old...really wish i was a kid again because Christmas felt so much cooler back then" feeling, but this year...not so much. this year i'm feeling all sentimental, which really isn't abnormal for me, but it's packaged nicely with a feeling of a feeling i can't put into words. confusing, i know! most dudes don't even like to talk about their feelings and here i am talking about the feeling of a feeling. if i figure out how to describe it i'll come back to this thought.

this Christmas season i'm determined to watch every Christmas movie i used to love, or currently love. here's a working list i've come up with so far, in no particular order:

-national lampoon's Christmas vacation
-home alone
-elf
-white Christmas
-scrooged
-it's a wonderful life
-a Christmas story
-a charlie brown Christmas
-how the grinch stole Christmas
-frosty the snowman
-rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
-a very brady Christmas...just kidding

'tis the season to be freezin'

2010-11-23T16:02:00.003-06:00

i do work outside.
sometimes it is really cold.
other times just cold.

like my haiku? it's an original. thanks.

on a brighter, and much more exciting note, thanksgiving (tday as my buddy steve-o would say) is only a couple days away! woot to an 11. and you know what that means, right? Christmas season starts the DAY AFTER!!!! now, you know by now that i rarely capitalize letters...only in super-extremely-serious-situations. and this is one, my friends.

why does Christmas keep getting earlier and earlier every year? next year it's going to be right after labor day, you know? i heard on the radio this moring that nordstroms doesn't decorate for Christmas until the day after "tday". so? big deal...it SHOULD be that way. right, kimberly?

growing up...we HAD to wait until after thanksgiving was over until we went into Christmas season. in fact, my family would sometimes have our relatives over on the saturday after thanksgiving. honestly...within probably ten minutes after they all left that night...my family would be setting up the house for Christmas. it was great! as long as i got to set up the tiny angel singers.

happy thanksgiving, everyone. a few things i'm thankful for this year:

-contacts
-a job
-my wife
-my guitars
-socks
-my friends
-ibuprofen
-a roof
-a healthy immune system
-my family
-most importantly...avanti's vegetable gondolas

taking the REAL plunge

2010-11-15T20:39:00.003-06:00

it's the lame thing to say to a guy/gal who's getting married...."taking the plunge." sorry if you're a fan of saying that to people. not really though. but a little. mostly not.

emily and i had been talking quite a bit about being baptized. we were both sprinkled as infants, but being fully immersed was something we both felt God was laying on our hearts for the past several months. it was tough to think about, sometimes to talk about, since baptism in a Biblical sense is such a debatable topic. some think sprinkling is fine, others say full immersion is the way to go. fortunately for us (ALL humans), getting baptized doesn't get you into Heaven...so i guess technically it doesn't matter? well...it kind of does. for me personally, taking that step to be fully immersed wasn't my way of correcting the way i was sprinkled as an infant. it was simply my way of taking another step, or making more of a commitment to God. also...strictly my OWN opinion, while understanding that everyone has one, i do feel that when the Bible talks about baptisms...i feel it's referring to full immersion. my father-in-law said a cool thing once when we were talking about it. he said that the best way to deal with such debatable topics in the Bible...it's best just to give grace. basically, some people are going to think i'm wrong for saying the Bible means full immersion, and others are going to say they agree with me...but being baptized is NOT what gets you into Heaven. thank God it's not.

another cool way to look at it: in majority of cases, when a couple gets married...they exchange wedding rings. the day after the wedding ceremony, if they walk outside together and one of them has their ring on and the other doesn't...they are STILL married. because of the words they exchanged, because of the commitment they made to each other. and that, my friends....is what it's all about! committing your life to the Lord and accepting that Jesus Christ died for you, so that you can have a gift of eternal life. that's what it comes down to. not if you were sprinkled as an infant...or fully immersed. not if you pray 132 times a day. not if you haven't missed a church service since 1974. not if you wear a w.w.j.d. bracelet. not if you donate thousands of dollars to missionaries. not because you tell people that Jesus loves them. not because you read your Bible every single day and can spew out Bible verse after Bible verse that you've been memorizing since VBS back in 1988. don't get me wrong...all of those things are great, but i fear that some people miss the mark on what being a Christian is really about. it's about JESUS, loving HIM, trying to live like HIM, and loving EVERYONE else along the way.

another really awesome thing that went hand in hand with this experience. besides the fact that emily was baptized too...both of my parents actually decided to be baptized as well. they were both sprinkled previously, but when emily and i mentioned that we were going to be doing this...they felt called to "take the plunge" as well. so, in front of our family and some awesome friends of ours, Pastor Mike Baker from Eastview Christian Church did the baptism for all four of us and it was completely awesome!

quick apology

2010-11-02T21:12:00.003-05:00

to anyone who has left a comment on my blog or will leave a comment on my blog in the future:

i am sorry that i don't reply to all of them. apparently, i am terrible at checking to see if people comment. i was also under the impression that i'd receive an email alert when people commented. my bad, dudes.

i will be better from now on.

p.s. i'm still on that tom petty kick. today my parents called me and asked what i was up to. i told my dad, "just chillin...listening to some tom petty." after he laughed, he said, "i like some of his stuff...but he kinda looks squirrely though don't you think?" and now i see it. thanks, dad! i'm going to ask for the live anthology for Christmas.....and probably the runnin' down a dream dvd set. i still remember the first time i heard the song mary jane's last dance. i was really young, hanging out with sam dalton playing basketball in my driveway late at night. it came on the radio and i remember thinking, "this is good music...i wish i could play the harmonica."

the world is for lovers

2010-10-30T16:58:00.003-05:00

we've heard it before. "why can't we all just get along?" well...why can't we? there's plenty of reasons i can think of, but all of them suck. sure, we can disagree with something someone says or does, but what right do we have to not love them? of course i'm not talking about the kind of love we feel for a significant other or a relative or a good friend...i simply mean love. plain and simple...care for others!

i came across this hilarious website while doing a little research on this post. does that make me a nerd? quite possibly. anyway...i think we can all take a few notes from it and maybe try to apply it to our lives.

for anyone who's intersted in a really cool Bible verse that i think really rocks this idea, check this out:

Galatians 5:13 (The Message)

13-15It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

i love you all...and promise to start showing it more!

p.s. i've been on a total tom petty kick lately.

feeling guilty

2010-10-27T20:30:00.003-05:00

why is life so hard? why do i ask myself that while knowing that life is MUCH harder for others? i mean...they say nearly a billion people suffer from starvation. that's roughly one in six humans, right? yet, when i get home from work i say, "i'm starving...i need to get a snack!" so what do i do? i no longer use the word 'starving'. i'm trying to delete it from my vocabulary. big deal...this doesn't really do anything for anyone...and that's hard.

this is my battle tonight. feeling guilty for thinking my life is hard. feeling guilty for thinking my "plans" aren't working out the way i want them to. feeling guilty for thinking i wish i made more money. feeling guilty for wishing i had what others have. feeling guilty for wishing i had more time in the day. feeling guilty for not praying for people who are going through a tough time...when i told them i would. feeling guilty for taking things for granted. feeling guilty for stuff!

guilt·y
–adjective, guilt·i·er, guilt·i·est.
1. having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; justly subject to a certain accusation or penalty; culpable: The jury found her guilty of murder.
2. characterized by, connected with, or involving guilt: guilty intent.
3. having or showing a sense of guilt, whether real or imagined: a guilty conscience.

the bright side? attitudes are made to be changed...so i'm trying to change my attitude and get a new perspective. nuf sed.

number one with a bullet

2010-10-23T11:31:00.004-05:00

so, check it. i'm a music snob, okay? okay. now that we've got that cleared up and there is no argument from my side...we can move on. hopefully my snobitude won't offend anyone too much in this post.

recently, while hanging out with emily and my best friend, brett, i told them i had a list of my top five most disliked songs of all time. this came up when one of the songs off my list came on at a restaurant we were at. i said, "oh, man...this is one song that tops my list of songs i cannot stand!" they couldn't believe it. for a couple reasons. one, both of them didn't mind the song. two, who really has a list of songs they don't like...or lists in general? me. making lists is where it's at.

my top five songs (not artists, just their songs) i cannot stand, will not ever like, and wish i would never hear again (from least to most dislike):

5. saturday nights alright for fighting by elton john // i can't stand this song simply because the ending and how he repeats/yells "saturday" over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again...and then a few more times
4. i love rock and roll by joan jett and the blackhearts // to be honest...guitar hero wrecked this one for me.
3. sweet home alabama by lynyrd skynrd // although i've never been to alabama...it is not my sweet home. and unfortunately i don't have a specific reason to disliking this song.
2. with arms wide open by creed // i know i said i didn't necessarily dislike the artist of the songs...but seriously, anything by creed is a no go for me.
1. american pie by don mclean // i always feel kind of guilty about this one simply because of the "musical history" he wrote about...but it's still nine minutes too long. and the fact that websites like this exist is just insane.

i know it's obnoxious to make this list, but i had to put it out there. you may love one of these songs, maybe all of them, and that's okay (sort of) if you do. everyone is entitled to their own opinion of what they like/dislike. i'm just the one with the blog that spends the time to do stuff like this. but feel free to leave a comment if you feel the need.

i was really hoping to be able to come up with my top 5 favorite songs of all time, but quickly realized that would actually make me more insane trying to come up with just five. i'd almost prefer to listen to one of these songs above...not really though.

every little thing gonna be alright

2010-10-18T20:39:00.005-05:00

have you ever had a day start out alright...and then end awful? maybe something happened. maybe nothing happened. you just get in a funk? i'm there, man. out of left field today...i realized i was in a horrible mood. i figured my blog should be totally honest and not just include posts from "happy, optimistic tony," but also include a post or two from "today sucks, lets move on tony." the goal here is not to bring you down, but to somehow lift you up and possibly help you feel better about your day. quick warning...this could very easily flop and just upset everyone who reads it (good thing only four people read it.)

Alright, lets do this...short and simple, so i can go watch hawaii five-0. did i mention i suck when i'm in a bad mood.

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philipians 4:6-7 NLT

seriously? don't worry about anything? yeah...sure...no problem. that part alone makes me worry. pray about everything? easy enough...except when you're like me and have "prayer-a.d.d." and find yourself making your way back to God after realizing you stopped praying minutes/hours ago without even finishing your thought. now, telling God what i need...i am good at that (except most of them are probably wants). thanking Him for all He has done...i'm working on that. i've heard before to start praying with all you're thankful for and don't ask for anything until the end of the prayer...you'll begin to realize you might not need that much and start to realize how much you are thankful for. God's peace...yeah i want that, especially if it guards my heart and mind. this scripture hit me tonight. it's like i realized tonight that God knows i mess up. like i was somehow able to hide it before...or sneak by under the radar. how could i make God so small?

that scripture above is something i wish i read every morning. then why don't i? no excuse to give...just an overall bad decision.

the good news (finally!) is that God is forgiving and ALWAYS there!

10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NLT

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-10-08T15:10:00.006-05:00

does david bowie freak anyone else out?

i wonder why so many people don't like change. big or little, some people just don't want it. they're good with a mundane life where everything is routine. don't get me wrong...i definitely like a routine and feeling like i have things planned out, but what fun is it to stay the same?

you know now from reading one of my previous posts that i've made a few changes in my life over the past couple of years. before that i don't think i was really into change. so what changed in me to cause me to like change? is that a paradox? for me, personally, i was just fed up with being overweight. all it took was that one time looking into a mirror and thinking, "dude...what the what? you need change!"

it's funny how people can react to your change though. for example: person A (we'll call him Bill) is living a "not-so-by-the-book-kinda-life" and on a downhill path to nowhere (because obviously a downhill path can't lead anywhere good...know why? cause once you're at the bottom you have to get back to where you came from...and that is up and harder to get to. what?) anyway, person B (we'll call him Lameface, yes that is a real name...i think it's french) hasn't seen Bill for quite a while and then one day hears an update about him and this is where weirdness happens. some people (i wish it were 'most') would say something like this to Bill, "wow-wee bill, what a great thing you've done...you know...changing...for the better. previously you weren't so cool, but now that you've changed...you're pretty cool!" but then there are other people, like Lameface, that realize they haven't done any changing for the better and are possibly a bit upset about that...so they decide to try and knock Bill down a few notches by bringing up his past. you get where i'm going? you pickin' up what i'm puttin' down? sorry i said that.

to help better explain this "i changed but my friend didn't and now he won't stop calling me out on my past theory" i've included some artwork. enjoy.

it's all about how you look

2010-09-30T19:14:00.002-05:00

that's right...i said it. appearance is everything. well, at least in the blogosphere i've found. the tim gunn of blogs made me aware that my blog...looked like crap. and as i'm sure so many of you were wondering where i've been since you follow me so religously and wait on the edge of your seats daily for a post by yours truly...i felt the need to explain my absence.

well, there you have it. i'm getting a makeover...well, my blogo is. how many different words/terms include the root word 'blog' anyway?

see you soon.

trifecta

2010-09-10T16:22:00.004-05:00

my trifecta: music + writing + love = ___________________

the blank is the most exciting part. most times i have no idea what will be there. in today's case...it was a song that i wrote. i know you're probably thinking that's an obvious outcome when you combine the three, but it's not always true in my case. a lot of times it's just thoughts. boooring.

when i listen to music...i'm constantly breaking it down. anything from the lyrics and what they REALLY mean...to the guitar parts and what they REALLY mean. i listen for background noise, too. i always try to put myself in situations where i can apply the song to my life and break it down that way. in case that doesn't make any sense...i basically overanalyze music to the point where it's borderline obsession/psychotherapy.

writing to me is not a form of therapy. i'm not the type of person that goes through some situation and thinks, "dude...i have to get this down on paper or else i'll explode." i simply see it as more of a way to express my ideas/thoughts/personal findings/beliefs. that doesn't even make sense to me, so don't feel bad.

love...is awesome. did you know that the philadelphia international airport is the best airport for making a love connection, according to an online survey. seriously, i guess if you're on the hunt for that special someone...schedule a flight there.

anyway...back to the part about the song i wrote. my trifecta...music, writing, and love. all three were involved/happening when i was working on this new song i was calling "fight." creepy part is...i titled it before i had lyrics...dun dun dun! it'd be really cool if i had it recorded and i could put the song up here for all to hear...but i can't at this time.

this is what happened: a few weeks ago i wrote this cool guitar part and wrote it down. then, i kept playing it and kept changing things here and there until i liked what i heard. about a week ago i wrote some lyrics down and tried it out. it sounded okay...to me. i played it for emily (she's my honest critic) and she gave me some classic "emily's corrections to make this sound better, please don't hate me for being honest, but i think it could sound better, even though it sounds okay now, it should sound better than okay, please still love me" advice on how to make it better. i made the changes..and yes, it was better...and i still love her.

so today...i'm playing through the song and i make another small change. then it happened...it turned into the saddest song i've ever written and i think it's incredibly depressing. it's a song about divorce. see why the title is so creepy now? most people know that musicians don't always write about their own lives. obviously in this case...this is one of those occasions where the song isn't about me personally.

back in high school, i had quite a few close friends with divorced parents. i can actually remember each of them telling me when it happened. at the time...my reaction had to be meaningless. they knew i'd never gone through it, so what would i feel? mostly true...all i could do is feel bad and try to love that person through their tough time. hopefully i did some good. that's what i learned/re-learned through this song. no matter what happens to you, someone you know, or a complete stranger...love is always present. lennon was right...all you need is love. so now the "BOOYAH" part: if all YOU need is love...where are you getting it? is it healthy? if it's true love it is. this could very easily turn into some sort of "you need Jesus" speech..and as much as i believe that to be true...i really just want to love you and everyone else in the entire world. don't you think that if every human had this approach to life...the world would be a little better? please don't take this the wrong way...i didn't invent this and i'm not saying i'm the only person trying to live this way. there are TONS of people doing a way better job loving others than i am. i'm simply stating what i'm striving to do and hope that it might motivate someone to do the same. have you ever seen the powers of ten video? the universe is big...so what? like we can't make an impact by loving people. yeah, i guess you're right...we might as well not even try. ORRRRR...we could make an all out attempt at changing the world and making it as awesome as possible!

"love to an 11!"
-tony

SHE

2010-09-01T17:19:00.002-05:00

today is me and emily's 3 year wedding anniversary. should i have put "emily and i's" or "emily and me's" in that previous sentence? man, i don't know. that's also a rhetorical question, so don't try and be Mr./Mrs. English and correct me. anyway, instead of doing the typical, like going on national television to tell her i love her. or having a famous person sing for her. or taking her up in a hot air balloon to watch a sunset with wine....i'm going to write some random (in no particular order) reasons i love my wife and why she's the beez neez.

-she’s beautiful, inside and out.
-she’s a runner.
-she supports me in almost everything i want to do. (she won’t let me die my hair black anymore)
-she loves great music.
-she dresses really cool.
-she's hilarious!
-she loves the Lord.
-she can sing.
-she loves to have random dance parties in places such as old navy, our bedroom, and/or any other place where dancing might be looked at as “odd.”
-she has the same passion in life as i do.
-she has been married to me for 3 years now and i'm pretty sure that she really wants to or else i think she would've left by now.

there are a TON more, but i have to save them for future anniversaries. can't use up all my bullets at once. funny that i used bullets in my list isn't it?

i'll now end this post with some words of wisdom i came across:
"Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute."

support YOUR troops

2010-08-29T09:12:00.005-05:00

friends are cool, right? at least in your opinion. they could be total geeks, but if you get along great with geeks...then you think they're cool. chances are they think your cool, too. you've heard it before: "friendship is a two way road." well you know what happens on two way roads...car crashes, road kill, potholes, broke down cars, slow farm tractors, getting pulled over by the cops...bad things can happen. bare with me here, i promise i'm getting to what i believe to be a "cool point."

lately (mostly since i started this blog) i've noticed how good i feel when people actual make an effort to let me know that they support what i do by giving me words of affirmation. "hey tony, good job on that run." "wow tony...you look great." "tony, your blog is the best thing i've read since the Bible." "dude..tony...i want to be you." (ok..it's not quite like that, but you get what i'm saying.) and of course when someone would tell me i'm doing a good job or doing something cool before i'd always feel good, but lately it's been different. not sure why, but it has. maybe that's what changes when you turn 25?

all i'm saying is that it's awesome when someone who you may know well, or barely know at all, goes out of their way to say good job to you for something you're doing. i think to myself, "you didn't have to say that to me...why did you say that? you obviously actually mean it, right?" i believe the answer to be "yes" in majority of cases. if someone were to come up to you and say "good job" or "keep up the good work" and later you find out they were just being facetious you should slap them in the head (don't really do that, maybe the infamous stink eye will suffice.)

so go and support your troops. all of your friends and loved ones who are doing something that's worth a "good job" or an "attaboy" (i guess "attaperson" would be more p.c. these days) deserve to hear it! the coolest part about doing something good for someone else is the feeling you get from it. it's scientifically proven that chemicals are released in your body that give you a good feeling after doing something good. that's actually true...not just me being obnoxious. ask emily, she's a psychology major. maybe even a cooler thing than that (it's a tie between this and the first cool thing) is that the person who receives the verbal support will be more apt to tell someone else they know that they're doing a great job at something because they know how boss it felt to hear it from you. and then they'll tell 10 friends, and they'll tell 10 friends, and they'll tell 10 friends, and they'll tell 10 friends, and they'll tell 10 friends......

also...you should still support our troops, too. you know..like, the soldiers. they are awesome and don't receive enough credit for what they do.

ok...what now?

2010-08-24T18:04:00.005-05:00

warning: this post involves running and i might mention Jesus (just to warn people who don't like to hear/read about those things...which i think is sad, but that's just my opinion.)

anyway...the 1/2 marathon is done. praise Jesus! hey look...i just mentioned the two things i warned you about in the first two sentences. ironic. seriously though...the 1/2 was hard. i guess it was as hard as i expected it to be though. after all...i ran 13.1 miles in 1:53:54 (i'm going to try not to feel like i'm bragging about that. it's also quite humbling to know that the dude who won this race did it in a little over an hour.) but in a nutshell, the race went well.

the wait before a race always sucks. i get antsy and i just want to RUN! but finally we got going and i was feeling pretty good, keeping a good pace throughout the run until about mile 9. during my training, when i ran the 13.1 miles, this was about the exact same spot where i started feeling 'it' ('it', for me, is when your mind gets a second wind and catches your body off-guard and begins to convince you to stop running.) now, i took water at mile 7, so i figured i wasn't dehydrated and was just being a baby. well, 9 going into 10 finally went by and then came 11. stupid mile 11. that's when i started feeling the hills and the humidity (along with 'it' of course.) i took some more water around this time and then went into a hill...and then it happened...i was walking. i was so mad at myself. i told myself before the race that i would not walk. i distinctly remember telling myself that i would NOT walk...it was right after i said i was going to overdo it (hmmm? i know...it was foolish). you don't go to a 1/2 marathon (or any road race for that matter) to walk. unfortunately, this race, i did. i took a couple of 10 second walk breaks and then got going again. i finally made it over the last big hill and saw the crowd by the finish line. the best part was at the end of the route we finished around the track at the high school. it felt kind of cool running around the track and to finish in front of a crowd. i ran the track as hard as i could and finished strong. although i was frustrated for a few hours after the race about walking, i told myself that these things happen...plus i even beat my goal by over a minute, so i technically had NOTHING to complain about. but sometimes i'm a complainer. it was also a pride thing...i'll be honest. but to every problem there is a solution, right? isn't there? well, my solution was/is to train myself better so i can pace myself so that i'll never walk again during a race. my dad has this little saying he likes that i've grown quite fond of as well, "i hate to run, but i love to finish." that sums it up for me.

"suffering is optional."

i got that quote from a book i just got done reading, "what i talk about when i talk about running" by haruki murakami. he's run over 24 marathons, a bunch of triathlons, and even dabbled in the ultramarathon area. the dude is a runner to look up to, enough said. in his book he talks about his life as a runner and also a novelist. it's really interesting to me to learn about other people's lives. in a "non-creeper, i'm-truly-interested-in-how-you-live" type of way of course. the biggest thing, and i think the best thing, i learned from his book was this: sometimes you have bad experiences while running. he told quite a few stories about a marathon, or a triathlon, that went horribly wrong but he still learned something from it. i'm the type of guy that struggles when something happens that i felt like i could've controlled. does that make any sense? if i could've done something different to prevent _____ from happening, then why didn't i? that's the type of question i dwell on after i finish my first 1/2 marathon wondering why i had to walk that little bit. well, add this to the "things i've learned so far" list: "Reaching the finish line, never walking, and enjoying the race. These three, in this order, are my goals."

"segway"

basically, i loved that Murakami said these three goals he has in his book, and it stood out to me. of course when i first read it i applied it to future races i'll be running, but sometimes i like to think a little cheesier and more cliche and applied it to life in general (which is a great mxpx album.) the finish line being my ultimate goal(s) in life...definitely not easy to get to, but ALL possible if i stick with it and keep one foot moving in front of the other. never walking...i learned my lesson on this one. it has an affect on your mind...once you slow down and lose momentum it makes the rest of the "race" even more difficult. the last thing he says is to enjoy the race. for me personally...i might put this at the number one spot. enjoy life...enjoy what you do. anything and everything...enjoy it! why not? you're not here forever. and your loved ones aren't here forever either. "don't get caught in the season of life you're in now...seasons change." i heard that on the radio earlier today. i'm beginning to think the meaning of this post is to overload you (the reader) with cheesiness and lack of orginality. i think my "segway" segway was pretty original though...

oh, and i almost forgot. the title of this post is actually the point of this whole, long, random group of words i call writing. my next goal is of course...a full marathon. i'm going to do it. it's just a matter of when. it reminds me of that question on job applications that reads: "Are you the type of person who looks for more work, without being told what to do, after you complete the task you're working on?"

"one final thought" (you have to say that like andy rooney from 60 minutes..that guy is a nut) my cool dad and hot wife (i'm good at thinking of adjectives) also ran this 1/2 marathon and rocked it to an 11! high 5's to them as well.

things i've learned (so far)

2010-08-20T04:23:00.002-05:00

i saw a sign in front of a church the other day: "i've learned two things in life so far, there is a God and i am not Him." i love reading all of the signs out front of church's because most of them are pretty cheesy and easy to laugh at. does that make me a bad person? this one in particular inspired me...and now you're thinking, "cool, he was inspired to do something spiritual." in fact i was, it inspired me to blog.

i started to think of all the things i've learned in life so far. to be honest, i feel like it should be a LOT more, but that's ok. i still have a lot of living to do, God willing. that reminds me...ray lamontagne's new cd "God Willin' & The Creek Don't Rise" is amazing! back on track (it is 4:30am you know). i was suppose to go to the gym to lift this morning. i go every monday, wednesday, and friday...i know, i know...i'm such a gym rat. i figured you could tell by my jacked muscles. since i'm doing the half marathon tomorrow, i decided (emily suggested) that i take today off. i was going to be stubborn and go, but once i was up and got moving i soon realized (this is one thing i've learned) that i do need to take it easy today. so this blog is in place of my workout and boy are my fingers tired!

things i've learned in life (so far):
1. God does indeed exist
2. love is real (not to be cliche, but i have the best wife)
3. nothing is impossible
4. people CAN be amazing (all people)
5. math is mostly pointless
6. people in indianna drive the worst
7. money is the root of all evil
8. some people have it rough (meaning: i need to try to put myself in someone else's shoes before i think anything about them or where they've been)
9. america is the land of the free and the home of the brave
10. cell phones are the devil
11. music is therapy
12. being healthy is fun
13. working a job you don't want to do is insane
14. i can't grow a beard
15. i do actually like cats
16. "it's not what you know, it's who you know." (thanks mr. sax..the only thing i learned in high school)
17. crying is not just for girls
18. reading is actually enjoyable when you're reading something you WANT to read
19. having two loving parents who love the Lord is awesome
20. riding a wheely on a bike is hard (not impossible...see #3)
21. i can trim my finger nails too short
22. i cannot stand facebook, yet i still use it because "i want to keep in touch"
23. some people will always think they know more than you
24. sledding is a great time
25. even though college debt is awful, i think i might've learned the most about life during these years
26. cars are not toys (most of the time)
27. there are women's jeans and men's jeans for a reason
28. there are people who need my help
29. losing a loved one is one of the hardest things to experience
30. you really do not want to pee into the wind
31. the news on television is negative
32. ...to be continued (i didn't actually learn this, well, i guess i learned that phrase...but you get what i'm saying here.)

please don't assume this is all that i've learned. i don't want you to think that i didn't learn more in life...i just really have to go to work (see #13.) one cool thing i suggest you try is to think of all the things in life you've learned so far. it's actually a really cool experience: it helps you realize you still have a LOT to learn.

"I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday."
-Abraham Lincoln (my favorite president...dang, that could've been a great #32)

optimism sucks

2010-08-17T16:47:00.003-05:00

being an optimist is tough. let's be honest...being happy/positive is tough to do in a world that is so incredibly messed up. you ever notice that when you're in a good mood/having a good day...you're an optimist? but let's say you've had a crappy day, nothing has gone right...all you want to do is slap an optimist in the face and scream, "be realistic!" right? oh..well for me that's how it is.

best example i can give: a typical sunday - i get to sleep in, i don't have to go the gym to lift, most sundays are an off day of running, so i basically get to be lazy. i wake up as late as possible, shower/get ready, listen to music, go to church, spend quality time with my wife and see some family. life is at an 11, so i'm an optimist. then comes monday...i'm still holding strong to my optimistic thought pattern and still feeling the "sunday high," but i start to have a few pessimistic thoughts and let the little things start to get me. and then on tuesday something happens at your workplace that sets you off and there it went. remember what it was like to be optimistic? me freakin' too.

so, my question is this: why is it SO hard to be an optimist, consistently? is it really because the world sucks? that seems like a cop out. is it really because our lives are so hard? doubt it. i know some people have it rough, so maybe that's legit. but could it be that it's just plain impossible to be optimistic everyday? maybe? does it really matter, tony? not really? why so many questions? i don't know. probably the same reason a kid on a bike came up to me at work today and fired of these brain busters, "what are you doing? why are you just sitting in your truck? what are those cones for? are you going to the pool today?"

ultimately, i just want to figure out how to be an optimist, all the time. i guess i'll still call myself an optimist...but there are plenty of days where i suck at it. does that make me a hypocrite? crap.

"goals are dreams with deadlines"

2010-08-08T09:20:00.005-05:00

running is one of my favorite things to do. it's a stress reliever. it helps me get some fresh air. it gives me quality time with God. and to top it off...i burn quite a few calories doing it, which is always a plus.

i started running during my weight loss era and it actually stuck with me. before i got "healthy" my mom always worked out and ran and did that lame stuff, but i never paid any attention to it. then, my dad (who was a bit overweight) started getting into running and really liked it...and ended up losing a lot of weight, too. still, at this point, i wasn't buying it. my infamous saying was, "i only run if i'm being chased." fortunately for me...i rarely got chased, so things worked out pretty well for me as far as running went.

it was one of the best things to happen to me though: mentally, physically, spiritually, even emotionally...running has been a great experience. the hardest part is getting started. it sucks in the beginning. who am i kidding...it can suck pretty bad once you're in it for awhile, too. it's just like anything else though...you gotta stick to it and keep at it.

right now emily and i are training for a half-marathon that's on august 21 (12 days 21 hours 22 minutes 39 seconds away.) my dad also made the mistake of saying he'd do it with me, so he got signed up for it as well. when i got serious about running i made it a goal to do a 5K, 10K, a half, and a full marathon. finally, we're at the point in this post where you figure out what it's all about: goals. according to wikipedia (the official online encyclopedia/information know-all of everything that is good and is always 100% accurate) a goal is "a projected state of affairs that a person or a system plans or intends to achieve." i think it's so important for people to have goals in life. it gives you something to work toward. it gives people a purpose. no matter what happens...you're striving to reach your goal(s) and nothing can stop you, right? mostly. i'm more of a believer in the saying, "only you can prevent yourself from reaching your goals." but there aren't too many feelings out there better than reaching a goal you've set. maybe during the summer in the middle of the night when you flip over your pillow to the "cool" side...you know what i'm talking about. other than that though...nothing.

so...the challenge is: set a goal. a short term goal or a long term goal. or both! and then, achieve it! if you've just recently achieved a goal...AWESOME!! how'd it feel? that's great...now set another! life is all about setting goals.

was this a really cheesy, wannabe motivational post? sorry.

grace and gratitude

2010-08-02T16:30:00.007-05:00

first off...i am not a preacher. believe it or not...i'm not saying i am or pretending to be. recently, i heard a really cool definition of christianity: one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread. this pretty much rocked my world when i heard it. it's so...simple? too simple? probably. actually...yes, it is.

i guess i need to mention that i am a Christian. now, before you bail on this blog screaming "Bible thumper," please hear me out. when i say that i am a Christian...i mean i follow Jesus Christ and believe that He died on a cross for me (and you), so that i (and you) can have the amazing gift of eternal life (if we accept it.) i'm not really one to cram the Bible down people's throats, or take Bible tracts to wal-mart and leave them next to the toilet to give someone that's going to hell a good read while they try not to think of the fact that they're sitting on a wal-mart toilet (it's awful, right? i know.) anyway, up until just recently (it's embarassing actually) i was stuck in some idea that flowed through my mind/heart that said that it was enough for me to accept Christ and just live life "the way i'm suppose to" and everything will be cool in the long run (meaning: i'll get into heaven and someday i'd be able to go out for an easy three with Jesus.)

my wife (emily) and i are reading an amazing book called "radical" by a pastor named david platt. in a nutshell...he basically calls us all out on making the Gospel into what we want it to be. it's about taking it back to the basics...the way the Bible is meant to be. it's all about challenging us to feel/hear/speak/want the Gospel according to Jesus. so, one could imagine after diving into this book i've been wanting to be a bit more "radical" with my spirituality. i know it's cheesy, but i believe this book is really awesome!

yesterday in a sermon the pastor was preaching on gratitude. i mean, come one, the first verse he opened with was Ephesians 5:20 which says, "and give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." are you guessing which word was underlined? it wasn't 'thanks'...it was actually the word 'everything.' easier said than done, right? being thankful for everything? the good and the bad? i thought the bad was from the devil...why would i want to thank that jerk?

the final little thing the pastor told us to write down sealed the deal for me. he said, "when grace flows in, gratitude fills up, and generosity flows out." this right here sums it all up. for me anyway, it means, Jesus dying on a cross for me was a true depiction of grace, then if i work on my gratitude filling up, more generosity will flow out of me. if i "think about my thanks" then i start to gain a new perspective on life...one filled with gratitude for everything...not just the things i think i should be grateful for. see how it's starting to connect with the book emily and i reading? yeah...crazy stuff!

the challenge for me is to be consistent with my gratitude so that it continues to fill up so much i am overflowing with generosity...which will hopefully bring people to Christ. sure, yesterday and most of today it was easy for me to be grateful...but what's going to happen on thursday when i'm tired and have forgotten some of the sermon? am i going to let my perspective change back? i pray that it won't.

"this is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
-Psalm 118:24 (niv)

the shirt that changed my life

2010-07-25T08:31:00.003-05:00

warning: this blog is a bit...braggy. i don't mean it to be. it's just a cool story that is worth sharing that may or may not motivate people.

so...if you knew me over two years ago, you know that i was not "healthy." in fact...i couldn't have cared less about health. you could tell this because i weighed 235 pounds by the summer of 2008. trust me, i have plenty of hilarious (not really though) pictures to prove it. i actually have a before and after slideshow that is definitely worth a watch.

i never knew i was heavy. i never thought much about it. actually, i don't really remember feeling heavy, or remembering even noticing i was heavy, until just a few years ago. so what did i do? i tried losing weight. it sucked. bad. i started to "watch what i ate." you know...i literally "watched all the junk food i ate"...and that upset me even more. i also started to run a little. which was also miserable! running sucks in the beginning. it was the classic, "i'm so frustrated i'll now drop 20 pounds" type of thinking. which didn't work. this went on for a long time. and then it happened. i called jenny craig and my problems were resolved. JUST KIDDING...just making sure you're still reading. it all started when i went shopping to get a new shirt for a picture i was having done for the cover of my first cd i released. if you have that album (which was released in july 2008) you can look at the picture of me on the front and you'll see the shirt that changed my life. i remember being in the store, trying clothes on, and being disgusted with what i saw in the mirror. it's like the minute before i was blind, then i put this shirt on, and i saw myself for the first time. i remember seeing the fear in emily's eyes as i came out of the fitting room. i think she knew then that it was different this time. my thought process on losing weight was changed. i was officially determined.

and so it began...i started watching what i ate and started exercising. i actually learned how to count calories and started monitoring this daily. i even put back on my running shoes. i stuck with this for the longest time i'd ever gone before. i think i was up to an entire week. THEN, the coolest thing happened...i stepped on a scale. i dropped weight. that's all it took for me. i needed to see the results to gain the motivation and the drive to keep going. so that's what i did. i kept tracking every single calorie i consumed and kept running and running and running and running. i felt like forrest gump during the part where he is young and he starts running and all of a sudden his braces on his legs come flying off...but for me, the leg braces obviously were a symbol for my fat. i think that was a good analogy, right?

fast forward a couple years (to 2009) and i was there. my goal weight. it was unbelievable...honestly, it still is unbelievable. to think back on what i accomplished is a great thing. but the coolest thing of all is to think of all the other people that have done it, and will do it in the future. that is what pumps me up even more. anyone can do it. and i want everyone that needs to lose weight..to do it! all it takes is getting started...and sticking to it.

i'm a completely different person now. i lost 65 pounds total. i eat healthy and can probably tell you the calories per serving in 75% of the food in a grocery store. i kept running and have ran (and placed) in a 5K and a 10K. i'm currently training for a half-marathon that is in exactly 26 days 22 hours 2 minutes and 47 seconds. after that...you guessed it...i'm training for a full marathon. after that..well we'll see. i even do strength training a few days a week. who would've thought..tony gould in a gym..lifting weights. i do still count calories and track all of the food i eat...and i might be a bit too much of a health nut at some times. but let's be honest here...if you had to pick between one or the other...what would you pick?

"health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital beds dying of nothing."
-redd foxx

music is dead.

2010-07-19T18:24:00.001-05:00

music is NOT dead. to some people i think it is. music will never die...i assure you that. i rest assured there will continue to be people out there like me who will not let that happen. when i hear people say, "dude. omg...i love music. i am so post-modern and you are not. where is my scarf?" it makes me nauseous. what? i hear that all the time. you don't? i guess i'm somewhat of a "music snob." the best way to understand what that means is to watch the movie high fidelity and get to know rob, dick, and barry. now, i'm not saying some of those people who say they love music don't actually love music...but i feel like people really throw that phrase around. maybe it's just the word "love" that's being thrown around. hmmm...that's for a different day.

usually when i think of something in my life...i can pair it with a song or something music related. does that make sense? good. for example: i just heard "work" by jimmy eat world and it immediately reminded me of when i first started dating Emily (now my wife.) futures came out fall 2004 and we started dating that winter...so it was playing a lot when we were hanging out. now "this day of change" by run kid run is on and it reminds me of my first day at lincoln christian college because my roommate (he ended up not coming to lcc until the following year, so he was never my roommate) played guitar for them. any song by c.c.r. reminds me of growing up because my parents listened to amazing music (60's and 70's mostly) when i was young. i am convinced that this is at least 60% of the reason i have such a strong passion for music today.

so, i'm listening to pandora right now. i was totally the first one to ever go to pandora.com even before the people who created it. that's how much i love music. have i mentioned i am a sarcastic person yet? good. i love it how they do so well playing good music based on your first band entry...and then out of left field they'll throw something awful in. why does that happen?

i bet i know more bands than you. maybe i love music so much because i create it, too? i am a musician. and i have a cd that i released july 2008. i love finding new music to influence the way i write. does anyone care? probably 11 or 12 people total.

compilation tapes...or mix tapes as some call them are awesome. of course in my generation these "mix tapes" were mostly "mix cd's," but you get the concept. i used to make tons of them.

Rob: I will now sell five copies of The Three E.P.'s by The Beta Band.
Dick: Go for it. [Rob plays the record]
Customer: Who is this?
Rob: The Beta Band.
Customer: It's good.
Rob: I know.

^ that part of the movie sums this whole blog entry up. amazing music affects people. now if everyone could just agree on what "amazing" music really is and then toss the other crap. that was a bit harsh.

the first post

2010-07-12T18:58:00.003-05:00

i'm sure i need to make this first post completely awesome. i can't hold anything back, right? it needs to be filled with loads of humor and mixed in with a little drama maybe? the thing is...i don't really know what to blog about. i'm caught in this whole mindset that no one really cares what i blog about and/or no one will ever see it. i mean c'mon...i don't even use capital letters and i have less than two hundred friends on facebook. that says something about a guy.

the truth is: i love the feeling of putting my complete, personal thoughts/opinions/ideas/beliefs straight from my head out there for anyone to see. i'm a musician, so i mostly do this by writing songs. i sometimes paint, which can work as well. there's something a little different about typing my thoughts word for word and then publishing them to a website for anyone to see. it's not like it takes a lot of courage (no offense to anyone who thinks it does) to do this, but it's still a little exciting.

my goal is not to offend/threaten/upset/hurt/sadden anyone by what i post now or in the future. i simply ask that you take the time to read it and maybe learn a couple things about me while doing so. if you don't like it you don't have to return ever again. i promise i won't be upset. and if you end up liking it...well then you're cool and we can be friends.